I arrived at Providence sporting my PET scan attire...heavy cotton pull over (it's colder that a witches boob in a cast iron bra in those scanning rooms), undies, sweatpants and runners. No zippers, pulls, hooks, snaps, jewelry, etc...this makes it so much easier than having to dress down and remove your jewels. These are the words of a veteran scanner.
I introduce myself to the young lady at the counter and let her know that I am here for a PET scan. She tells me she needs to confirm that I have Regence Power Port Insurance and asks if I have my insurance card with me. I was dumbfounded...I'm certain I looked as though I was having an out of body experience. I wanted to laugh out loud...but controlled it to a grin as I explained that I used to have Regence Blue Cross Insurance, but now have Providence (as they know and had confirmed just days earlier on the phone)..and that yes, I have a Smart Port, although that has nothing to do with insurance. Now she is looking at me as though she is having an out of body experience. Next she hands me the canister of hell (the foul tasting crap you need to drink before a scan) and a cup. I ask her how long I have to drink it (time restrictions vary)..she replies, you don't have to chug it. I reply...I know, but how long...15 minutes, 30, 45? Again, she is looking through me. At this point I just turn to walk away and reply, OK, so basically you don't know.
Shortly after enjoying a few sips of my cocktail from hell, the technician calls my name and off we go. Once in the back I confirm I'm me...she starts pulling stuff out of her cart and I start rolling down my top so they can access my port. She looks at me and says...oh, you have a port. Argh! Of course I have a port...It was installed here, access here for other scans, when I spent the night with you lovely people on Fathers Day you accessed it, and again on July 24th when I had my most recent CAT scan done...here! And...I also told the woman who scheduled the ultrasound for my thyroid ultrasound that
I have a port. Bajeezus! So now, the technician has to locate an IV nurse as she isn't allowed to access my port. It just goes to show you Jane, it's always something.
Really? I am shaking my head back and forth so much that I can hear it rattle. I think when they look at their computer screens they are viewing vacation photos, restaurant menus, or anything BUT medical data that should inform them about people they are supposed to be taking care of. It's like at a fast food restaurant where they need a picture to ring something up and don't have a clue about how to really give change. Do they not actually hear themselves? Okay, I think the rant is over. Wait ... no, I guess not. I mean, WTF? Time for that four-olive cocktail, my friend.
ReplyDelete