July 23, 2011 - The New Doo...Is No Doo

When I woke up this morning looking like a chia pet gone bad I knew it was time. Time to shave my locks. When Patty (my hairdresser) arrived at the house to do the honors she suggested that we not go Kojak (my term, not hers...but she would have said it), but that we bring it down and go from there. She has offered to swing by daily if that's what it takes until I am comfortable with what at have. Or really...what I don't have. When I sent the photo below to my brother Mike he responded by saying "grow a beard and we could be twins." Nice bro (laughing)...love you too! The more I look at the photo the more I think I kinda look like the missing fourth chipmunk from Alvin and the Chipmunks.  

 



July 22, 2011 - The Sky is Falling

Dear Henny Penny - I can now fully appreciate how you felt when you thought the sky was falling. I began feeling the same way yesterday while sitting in the backyard. But it wasn't my sky that was falling, it was my hair falling out. Fast forward just one day and you will find Mom and I vacuuming my head to control the fall out. Well fuck. I knew it was going to happen, it's just happening so fast. My friend and hairdresser Patty told me from day one...when you are ready to shave your head just call and I'm there. Yesterday I was thinking I would be ready to have it shaved in about a week. Right now I am thinking that I'll be ready tomorrow.

July 17, 2011 - Streaking Party

So when my niece Sara suggested a streaking party in my honor I thought hmmmmm...really? I guess I should have let her explain first before letting the wheels on my mind move in fast forward. The objective was to gather family and friends who wanted to show their support and have them streak a portion of their hair teal in my honor. Teal being the color of fallopian/ovarian cancer. Of course I immediately said yes. Out went the evites, in came the RSVP's. On Sunday, July 17th Sara hosted 13 family members and friends at Chateau LeFebvre. Acting as the resident colorist with assistance from my sister Sandy, and my sister in law Chris, the results are below.

Gotta love my ladies. A number of whom offered to actually shave their heads. You go girls!

Left to right - Toni, Linda, Chris, Sharon, Jeannie, Nana. Becky, Sandy, Sue, Me, Sara, Michelle and Sherry. Photo by LL Cool J (aka Lorri).

July 14, 2011 - Treatment #2

Today's chemo-sabe and transportation partner powered by: Muk (aka Sharon).

With Mom in tow (cause if Momma ain't happy ain't nobody happy) we head off to treatment. I have visions of a successful day on the ride to NWCS. A successful day for me means that they are able to access my port. My nurse of the day get's my IV going and soon we are ready to attempt access to my port. Two other nurses join in and our quest begins. After just a few minutes it appears that the ladies of the day are ready to make an attempt. Ready they ask? One, two, three...with a direct hit we have lift off! Two nurses experienced with ports, one determined patient, and a large needle equals success. Happy, happy girl!

Could my day get any better? It could when the volunteer Reiki (stress reduction and relaxation that promotes healing) Technician popped her head in the door and introduced herself. Having never had Reiki practiced on me, but familiar with what Reiki is I welcomed her. Soon after she began I could feel all of the little hairs on the back of my neck stand up. Mmmmmm, this is nice. She told me I was very open. This is a good thing right? The Technician worked on me for 20 to 30 minutes...ahhhhhhh. She left as quietly as she came and said that she is there every other Thursday. As you might imagine I am looking forward to seeing her again on the 28th. Also on Thursdays, students from a local massage school visit NWCS and offer mini massages. How wonderful that these services are offered to the patients receiving treatment. For me it added to the zen I already had going. My thoughts...the more zen the better.

By now Mom, Sharon and I were famished. We had brought snacks but were beyond the snack phase. We decided to order deli sandwiches from a local deli (Jimmy Johns Gourmet Sandwiches) that a couple of the nurses recommended. And for twenty-five cents a sandwich they deliver by bike. It's crazy what fifty-cents can buy you these days. For the three of us we ordered two Beach Clubs; fresh baked turkey breast, provolone cheese, avocado spread, sliced cucumber, lettuce and tomato. Yumbo! And, we took half a sandwich home. In case you didn't catch on this was my plug for Jimmy Johns.
 
I have now completed 1/6th of my treatment. Big grin.

Family and Friends

I have always known what a rock solid foundation I have in regard to family and friends and how dearly I am loved. Call it what you want...fortunate, loved, blessed, (d) all of the above. However, I am still rocked by the love and support that my posse (family and friends) have shown and continue to show me.

When I was in the hospital I had two nurses comment on how I must have done something right in my life because they just don't see the level of support from family and friends that they were witnessing with me. My immediate thoughts...how sad. This love stuff, which is what it comes down to...needs to be spread around more.

I look at myself as a caregiver, supporter, and nurturer in life. It's what I do. It's what I like. It's what makes me feel good. Recovering from surgery and going through treatment has changed that. I have now become the one being supported, cared for and nurtured. I have quickly accepted that and relinquish. Relinquish to the support of family and friends and let them care for me like I have cared for them.

This relinquish thing...feels damn good.

July 7, 2011 - Treatment #1

With my sister Sandy, my Mom and snacks and beverages in tow (I was told that treatment #1 would last eight hours so be prepared...food, movies, beverages, cards, etc.) we venture out to Northwest Cancer Specialists for my first treatment. Treatment of course being chemo.

Today's agenda is Taxol via an IV in my hand and Cisplatinum in my port that was surgically placed in the side of my stomach. Since they need access to my port I am not out in the community treatment area but rather in a private room since I have to pull my pants down a bit to gain access (ooh la la). I really think it's just because they already have a good reading of me and don't want me raising havoc (laughing). First up saline solution, benedryl, steroids and Taxol (my personal treatment cocktail, hand mixed two doors down from my private room by the most gorgeous Cuban Pharmacist. OK, I don't know if he's Cuban or not, or even if he's a he but a girl's gotta dream right?). Next we gain access to my port. Or so we hope. Four nurses and two doctor visits (my OBGYN/Oncologist is one floor down) later they decided that the needle they are attempting to use is too short and they are unable to gain access. Damn-a-ramma. To say that I was disappointed is a huge understatement since the treatment to my cavity is the optimum treatment for me. Instead they opt to give me Cisplatnum's cousin Chronoplatium (hmmmm...I think this is the correct name, or, maybe not) in the IV in my hand. Just one small problem. My IV has already clotted and they aren't able to flush it open. So, we start over again. New IV in the right hand this time and since so much time has now lapsed I get all the same fluids I received earlier for the Taxol. All in all things went well. I wasn't having any side effects so we promptly left the building at 5:15pm. Did I mention that we arrived at 8:30am? Ugh!

The Beginning

Where shall I start? Let’s start from the beginning since some of you might not be up to date.

April, 2011 – Annual physical (good girl). Cervical polyp noticed during pap. General Physician (GP) refers me to OBGYN for removal. Pap results normal.

April, 2011 – Appointment with OBGYN. Brief intro, requested to undress from the waist down, doctor will return momentarily. Doctor returns, I am on the exam table, feet in stirrups, OBGYN takes a look and says “WOW.” Now, I don’t know about you, but I never wanted to be the “WOW” factor when I was in that particular position. OBGYN tells me that the cervical polyp is huge and that she doesn’t think she can remove it in the office and that I will need to go to the hospital to have it removed. My initial thought…well crap (this was actually the PG version of what I thought). OBGYN removes polyp and informs me that I have a very long cervix (everything else is big so this just makes sense right?). OBGYN voices concern that I am 54, no longer having a menstrual cycle and also not showing symptoms of menopause (Girlfriends are pissed, I’m loving it!). Blood drawn to check hormone levels, cervical polyp sent to pathology to be biopsied. OBGYN recommends that I have an ultra sound, trans-vaginal ultra sound and a hysterosonogram to ensure that there isn’t anything that she is unable to see during a routine exam up my long cervix. Blood work normal, cervical polyp biopsy benign.  

May, 2011 – AM prep for imagery exam. Drink as much water as you can hold, then drink some more. First I see the Imagery Technician (IT) who performs the external ultra sound and the trans-vaginal (internal) ultra sound. Naked from the waist down, again in the stirrups and ready for both ultra sounds. External ultra sound completed. The trans-vaginal ultrasound proved to be a bit more challenging since the (IT) placed the probe, which looked like Darth Vader’s light saber between my legs and directly on top of my delicate flower (if you get my drift). I didn’t know if I should laugh or be horrified. When she asked if it was placed correctly I thought good gawd just look…I promise it won’t send you screaming into the streets. Instead I decided to guide her verbally to where she needed to be. Lower, lower, lower…bingo. At the end the (IT) tells me that I have two endometrial polyps. Next the Imagery Doctor (ID) comes in and performs the hysterosonogram. Basically it is the same procedure as the trans-vaginal ultra sound only they place a small catheter in the wall of your uterus and shoot it with dye so they can get a good look. May I add the ID had much better aim than the IT. The ID asks the IT to turn the ultrasound screen towards me. See these little spots, those are endometrial polyps. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine…really? So much for two. ID is unable to get a good view of my left ovary so she sends me for an MRI. Big girl, MRI…not a good combination. The MRI technician attempts to stuff me into the MRI machine like stuffing a sausage into a casing. I told him that it was a really tight fit through the shoulders and that if I was going to have to hold that position for any period of time I didn’t believe that I was going to be able to do that. He assured me that he had larger patients than me and that they fit just fine. Easy for him to say he wasn’t being crammed into it. I finally told him that I wasn’t comfortable moving forward and that I would prefer go and have an open air MRI. Just then the ID came in and asked us if we had completed the MRI. I explain what had happened and she said “well surely there must be something we can do.” Again the MRI Technician said “she’ll fit” but if she isn’t comfortable there isn’t another option. I asked…why can’t you put me in feet first? The ID said “why can’t we put her in feet first?” the MRI Technician just looked at her and said “well, I guess we could.” So in I go feet first, 15 minutes later the MRI is complete. The ID reviews the findings and informs me that my left ovary is enlarged and a solid mass. She also said that if I was post-menopausal she would be more concerned and that I would probably be looking at a D and C and referred me back to my OBGYN for a follow up.  

May, 2011 – Follow up with OBGYN. Doctor reviews all results in my presence and says “you need to lose your uterus and your left ovary. Now, I might be 54, but I consider myself to still be fairly sharp and telling me that I need to lose my uterus and left ovary spells HYSTORECTOMY. I must say I was in shock…really; my mind had never gone there. What happened to the D and C? I asked if it was because I had nine endometrial polyps. She said “you mean the 15 endometrial polyps that are visible?” Again, well crap! She then asked me why I would not want to have a hysterectomy…ah ha! See…losing your uterus and left ovary equals hysterectomy. Now realizing I was in shock I replied that if I had working parts, i.e., right ovary, cervix etc. that I wanted to keep them. The left ovary had to come out because it was a solid mass and twice its size. She took biopsies of the endometrial polyps and sent them to pathology. She also wanted to take blood samples to check protein markers. I knew she was checking for cancer although she never used the word. When she phoned to give me the results she said that the endometrial polyps were benign and that the three protein markers that she checked were all in the normal range. Then she said “we have two options moving forward. I could perform a partial hysterectomy however; if any of the results showed anything unfavorable you would be looking at a second surgery. Or, if you want I can refer you to an OBGYN/Oncologist for a second opinion, she can review all of the exam notes, test results, images and biopsies and give you her professional opinion since she deals solely with the reproductive area. Then based on her opinion you can either come back to me or you can opt to have her perform the hysterectomy. For whatever even reason I opted to be referred to the OBGYN/Oncologist.

June, 2011 – Appointment with OBGYN/Oncologist (OO). Physical exam, review of all exams, blood work, biopsies and images. OO recommends a full hysterectomy. She believes that I am in menopause even without symptoms. She also reviews with me in detail why a full hysterectomy would be best. I ask point blank her opinion on if she thinks I am clean. I have never had an abnormal pap, all of my biopsies were benign, my protein markers were all within normal range and we have no cancer on either side of our family. She said that everything looked good, but you never know for certain until you get into surgery and send perform biopsies. Feeling positive, robotic surgery scheduled for Friday, June 17^th. Robotic surgery is four small incisions which is much less invasive and reduces the risk for infection.

June 17, 2011 – Surgery performed. Initially they attempted to do the robotic surgery but once she removed my ovary she felt positive the mass was a cancerous tumor. Initial pathology confirmed…malignant. This made is necessary for them to then open me up from my pubic area to above my belly button.

 I knew I had cancer when I was in the recovery suite floating in and out of consciousness because I heard them talking about the port they had put in my side for chemo therapy.  I was back in my room early Friday evening to the voices of family and friends. By Saturday morning I was up walking, sitting in the chair and had bathed myself. Shocking I know, it even shocked me. My OO came for a visit to give me the results of my surgery. Stage 3 ovarian cancer. The cancer had spread to the fatty flat in my stomach which is apparently conclusive in all women with ovarian cancer. My ovary was so heavy from the tumor it had laid back against my bowels. Luckily she was able to peel it away and my bowel wasn’t compromised. She feels positive that she was able to perform a clean sweep (excellent news). I would be looking at 18 weeks of treatment.  I had to ask…cure rate and life expectancy? There is a 25% cure rate. Outside of that the median life expectancy is six years. Some patients live longer, some less. Now for those of you who know me you can bet your ass that I am going to be in that 25% cure rate. I went into this with a positive attitude and I am going to come out on the other end with a positive attitude.

On Sunday morning a partner OBGYM/Oncologist came in to check on me. She said that my recovery was excellent and that if I wanted I could go home. I opted to stay a third night. Before leaving she looked me in the eyes and said…you are so fortunate that you made the decision that you did to have Dr. McC. do your surgery. And in addition to Dr. McC. there was another OBGYN/Oncologist assisting. You had the best looking out for you. Again, you were very fortunate. I must admit it gave my day a very nice jump start.

On Monday morning Dr. McC. came to check on me. She said that I was doing incredible and that she wanted me to go home and she would see me in two weeks.

July, 2011 – Follow up with Dr.McC. the cancer actually started in my fallopian tube and migrated to my ovary. From there it spread to my fatty flap in my stomach. Although it is documented as stage 3 fallopian cancer Dr. McC. said comparatively speaking I had a small amount of cancer compared to other patients. Positive news…we’ll take that. Even though it is fallopian cancer they treat it and ovarian cancer as one in the same. Then we talked treatment. Treatment being chemo therapy. She said that normally she would wait two more weeks to start treatment but that since I am doing so well she asked me how I felt about starting next week. My reply…let’s do it. Treatment starts on Thursday, July 7^th and last for 18 weeks. Two weeks on, one week off. Rinse, lather and repeat. On the 7^th I visit the lab, see Dr. McC. and have an eight hour treatment session. The first session will last the longest. I will be receiving two drugs, one via IV and one into a port in my side. The next Thursday I have labs and treatment. The following Thursday I just have labs. Then the follow Thursday we start the cycle over again. Dr.McC. said that five years without a reoccurrence would be good, ten years would be great. I told her that I was thinking more like 25 years. She smiled and said that’s even better.