OK...I've had a day to calm down...but I am so disappointed that I still have a pending surgery...ugh! I want 2011 behind me and to go into 2012 healthy. I fought my battle and won...I deserve this.
Doctor "McC" called to inform me that the reason my insurance company declined the request for surgery was because they were under the assumption (based on coding) that Dr. McC. was performing plastic surgery on my abdomen. This is also the reason why my insurance company requested photos of my abdomen when they declined the surgery. I know that no one is perfect...and I am certainly not asking people to be....but if my doctor's office had submitted my surgical request in a timely fashion...even 24 hours earlier, all of this would have been resolved PRIOR TO ME BEING NAKED ON A GURNEY WAITING FOR SURGERY!
My surgery is rescheduled for Tuesday, December 20th. Dr. McC. asks if "N" can phone me later in the day with the time or would I prefer that she phone me personally? I appreciated Dr. McC. offering to call later with the time but being the reasonable person I am (amazing I know after the last 24 hours...grin) I tell her that it would be fine for "N" to call. Just a few hours later "N" calls and we are scheduled for Tuesday, December 20th at 10:00am for surgery.
Saturday, December 24, 2011
December 12, 2011 - It Just Keeps Getting Better
Being diagnosed with cancer is the last thing anyone wants to hear. When you are given the news you have no idea of the journey you are about to embark on and just how much of a role you are going to have to play in order to manage your health care. Even though you and your insurance company are going to be paying out thousands and thousands of dollars to be treated...you had better be on your "A" game.
On December 1st I had a follow up appointment with Dr. McC. to go over the results of my CT scan (getting the scan scheduled was a challenge in itself). The CT scan was ordered to get an inside look (literally inside) as to what is going on in my "port from hell" area. The scar tissue that has developed from the chemo fluid that leaked inside my body continues to grow and keep me in pain daily...it needs to come out. I know that, and Dr. McC. knows that. When I am done with Dr. McC. I go down the hall to talk with "N" who schedules Dr. McC. surgeries. We check Dr. McC. schedule and we choose Monday, December 12th for my surgery date. "N" promptly gets on the phone with the hospital to reserve an operating room and determine a time. After several minutes on hold "N" asks if I would like to head home and she will call me later with the actual time of my surgery. I am happy to do that since I am tired, feel crappy and as usual, I am in pain. The following Wednesday, December 7th when I hadn't heard back I called "N" to find out if in fact she had secured an operating room and what time my surgery was. I suppose it was foolish of me to think that I might have received an apology from "N" when I said...I hadn't heard back from you so I'm calling to confirm that I am scheduled for surgery on Monday and that you received an approval from my insurance company. "N" informed me that surgery was scheduled for Monday, December 12th at 2:30pm and that I needed to be at the hospital at 12:30pm. I asked about pre-surgical procedures (ie., fasting, meds, etc.). "N" referred me to the hospital for my pre-surgical instructions and said that I would need to speak with Jamie (the office manager) to determine if my surgery had been approved by my insurance company. Well then, upward and onward to speak with the hospital and with Jamie. It appears that if I want surgery on Monday I am going to need to be an active participant in getting things lined up. Remember...today is Wednesday, December 7th. When I spoke with Jamie I told her that I needed to be certain that my insurance company approve my surgery or that we could not move forward. I was also concerned that because it was already Wednesday and that surgery was scheduled for Monday. I asked how long the approval process takes...she told me that they usually have an answer within 24 hours and if there is an issue, which she didn't anticipate, she would contact me.
Monday, December 12th. I am nervous this morning in anticipation of my surgery. This is not the norm for me. Maybe it's just because I don't want have another surgery. Even though I am very anxious to get all of this scar tissue and whatever else lurks in there out of me and off of the pain meds that have become a part of my daily life. I also feel yucky each and every day and am curious to see if this toxic ball of chemo fluid, scar tissue, aliens who have taken up residence, etc. is contributing to that feeling.
I arrive at the hospital, fill out my paperwork and wait to be called back to the pre-surgical area. It's a short wait and I'm called back. I am greeted by my nurse ("L" is wonderful...efficient, kind, caring) I disrobe as instructed, slip on the lovely designer gown that snaps on the shoulders and ties in the back and begin pre-surgical prep. Tinkle in a cup, get my IV in place (damn-a-ramma that hurts...my veins are shot from all the chemo), blood draw, EKG, work through a questionnaire with my nurse and she is ready to send me downstairs for a chest x-ray before the anesthesiologist comes in for a meet and greet and to roll me off to surgery. Mind you it is 1:30pm and my surgery is scheduled for 2:30pm and the folks in radiology are calling wondering where I am. Just as we are getting ready to roll me down to radiology the phone in my room rings...the nurse answers it and it's "N" from Dr. McC. office who is calling to tell me that my insurance company just called (as in one hour before my surgery time) and has decline the authorization for surgery. What? Hello? What? Seriously? "N" was explaining that we could move ahead telling me that Dr. McC. would appeal it but, they could still decline it but, it was unlikely that they would...(after that all I heard was the teacher in the Charlie Brown cartoons...wah, wah, wah...). I couldn't believe it...seriously, really? I finally asked "N" if we move forward and they don't approve it who is financially responsible? Of course I knew the answer...you are she said. I asked "N" if Dr. McC. was at the hospital. She said no, but would I like her to call me. Why yes I would (arghMcC. I basically had the same conversation with her that I had with "N." My insurance company had just contacted them to decline the request for surgery...blah...blah...blah. Dr. McC. told me that my insurance company was requesting photos and a peer to peer discussion (Dr. McC. and a doctor from my insurance company would talk). I told D. McC. to cancel the surgery as I could not move forward without an approval. She said that she would speak with my insurance company and get back with me.
By the time I got home I was pissed beyond belief. How can this happen one hour before surgery? First I called my insurance company. I wanted to know exactly when they received the request from my doctor's office. The representative that I spoke with told me that all requests are time and date stamped and that mine was received on Friday, December 9th at 3:40pm. What the hell? My doctors office requested approval from my insurance company less that 24 hours prior to a planned surgery when they had known for just under two weeks? Next...I called Dr. McC. office and asked that she phone me. They explained that she wasn't in...I explained that I knew she wasn't in...that I had already spoken with her earlier and that she needed to call me today. About ten minutes later my phone rang and it was Dr. McC. who was very apologetic. I told her in no uncertain terms that something like this should never happen, that there certainly must be procedures in place to ensure that everyone involved; the insurance company, doctor, hospital, patient, etc. are ready to go (approvals, paperwork, etc.) well in advance of the patients scheduled surgery date...let alone one hour before surgery time. I won't bore you with the rest of our conversation...ultimately Dr. McC. informed me that she would personally contact me once she had spoken with my insurance company and received approval. Somehow I think she knew how pissed I was.
On December 1st I had a follow up appointment with Dr. McC. to go over the results of my CT scan (getting the scan scheduled was a challenge in itself). The CT scan was ordered to get an inside look (literally inside) as to what is going on in my "port from hell" area. The scar tissue that has developed from the chemo fluid that leaked inside my body continues to grow and keep me in pain daily...it needs to come out. I know that, and Dr. McC. knows that. When I am done with Dr. McC. I go down the hall to talk with "N" who schedules Dr. McC. surgeries. We check Dr. McC. schedule and we choose Monday, December 12th for my surgery date. "N" promptly gets on the phone with the hospital to reserve an operating room and determine a time. After several minutes on hold "N" asks if I would like to head home and she will call me later with the actual time of my surgery. I am happy to do that since I am tired, feel crappy and as usual, I am in pain. The following Wednesday, December 7th when I hadn't heard back I called "N" to find out if in fact she had secured an operating room and what time my surgery was. I suppose it was foolish of me to think that I might have received an apology from "N" when I said...I hadn't heard back from you so I'm calling to confirm that I am scheduled for surgery on Monday and that you received an approval from my insurance company. "N" informed me that surgery was scheduled for Monday, December 12th at 2:30pm and that I needed to be at the hospital at 12:30pm. I asked about pre-surgical procedures (ie., fasting, meds, etc.). "N" referred me to the hospital for my pre-surgical instructions and said that I would need to speak with Jamie (the office manager) to determine if my surgery had been approved by my insurance company. Well then, upward and onward to speak with the hospital and with Jamie. It appears that if I want surgery on Monday I am going to need to be an active participant in getting things lined up. Remember...today is Wednesday, December 7th. When I spoke with Jamie I told her that I needed to be certain that my insurance company approve my surgery or that we could not move forward. I was also concerned that because it was already Wednesday and that surgery was scheduled for Monday. I asked how long the approval process takes...she told me that they usually have an answer within 24 hours and if there is an issue, which she didn't anticipate, she would contact me.
Monday, December 12th. I am nervous this morning in anticipation of my surgery. This is not the norm for me. Maybe it's just because I don't want have another surgery. Even though I am very anxious to get all of this scar tissue and whatever else lurks in there out of me and off of the pain meds that have become a part of my daily life. I also feel yucky each and every day and am curious to see if this toxic ball of chemo fluid, scar tissue, aliens who have taken up residence, etc. is contributing to that feeling.
I arrive at the hospital, fill out my paperwork and wait to be called back to the pre-surgical area. It's a short wait and I'm called back. I am greeted by my nurse ("L" is wonderful...efficient, kind, caring) I disrobe as instructed, slip on the lovely designer gown that snaps on the shoulders and ties in the back and begin pre-surgical prep. Tinkle in a cup, get my IV in place (damn-a-ramma that hurts...my veins are shot from all the chemo), blood draw, EKG, work through a questionnaire with my nurse and she is ready to send me downstairs for a chest x-ray before the anesthesiologist comes in for a meet and greet and to roll me off to surgery. Mind you it is 1:30pm and my surgery is scheduled for 2:30pm and the folks in radiology are calling wondering where I am. Just as we are getting ready to roll me down to radiology the phone in my room rings...the nurse answers it and it's "N" from Dr. McC. office who is calling to tell me that my insurance company just called (as in one hour before my surgery time) and has decline the authorization for surgery. What? Hello? What? Seriously? "N" was explaining that we could move ahead telling me that Dr. McC. would appeal it but, they could still decline it but, it was unlikely that they would...(after that all I heard was the teacher in the Charlie Brown cartoons...wah, wah, wah...). I couldn't believe it...seriously, really? I finally asked "N" if we move forward and they don't approve it who is financially responsible? Of course I knew the answer...you are she said. I asked "N" if Dr. McC. was at the hospital. She said no, but would I like her to call me. Why yes I would (arghMcC. I basically had the same conversation with her that I had with "N." My insurance company had just contacted them to decline the request for surgery...blah...blah...blah. Dr. McC. told me that my insurance company was requesting photos and a peer to peer discussion (Dr. McC. and a doctor from my insurance company would talk). I told D. McC. to cancel the surgery as I could not move forward without an approval. She said that she would speak with my insurance company and get back with me.
By the time I got home I was pissed beyond belief. How can this happen one hour before surgery? First I called my insurance company. I wanted to know exactly when they received the request from my doctor's office. The representative that I spoke with told me that all requests are time and date stamped and that mine was received on Friday, December 9th at 3:40pm. What the hell? My doctors office requested approval from my insurance company less that 24 hours prior to a planned surgery when they had known for just under two weeks? Next...I called Dr. McC. office and asked that she phone me. They explained that she wasn't in...I explained that I knew she wasn't in...that I had already spoken with her earlier and that she needed to call me today. About ten minutes later my phone rang and it was Dr. McC. who was very apologetic. I told her in no uncertain terms that something like this should never happen, that there certainly must be procedures in place to ensure that everyone involved; the insurance company, doctor, hospital, patient, etc. are ready to go (approvals, paperwork, etc.) well in advance of the patients scheduled surgery date...let alone one hour before surgery time. I won't bore you with the rest of our conversation...ultimately Dr. McC. informed me that she would personally contact me once she had spoken with my insurance company and received approval. Somehow I think she knew how pissed I was.
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
Port From Hell Update
Remember when my IP port leaked chemo fluid underneath my skin? Me too. It's been a pain in my side, literally, since the day it happened. The scar tissue that formed as a result of the chemo fluid that leaked continues to grow, but not for long...I am scheduled for surgery on Monday to have it removed. I don't want to have a third surgery, but, I have to have a resolution to the constant pain that I am in each and every day. A girl can only take so many Percocet.
On a very positive note...Dr. McC. sent me for a CT scan last week so she could get a good look at what was going on inside. In addition to getting a visual of what is going on in my stomach and port area we received an added bonus...Dr. McC. was able to visually confirm that I am clean. Not that we thought anything was going on...but it was nice to get a visual confirmation that there isn't anything in there that shouldn't be. Remember the creepy lady from poltergeist who says: this house is clean? This girl is clean!
On a very positive note...Dr. McC. sent me for a CT scan last week so she could get a good look at what was going on inside. In addition to getting a visual of what is going on in my stomach and port area we received an added bonus...Dr. McC. was able to visually confirm that I am clean. Not that we thought anything was going on...but it was nice to get a visual confirmation that there isn't anything in there that shouldn't be. Remember the creepy lady from poltergeist who says: this house is clean? This girl is clean!
Thursday, November 17, 2011
November 3, 2011 - Post Treatment Physical
I saw a commercial about a week ago from the American Cancer Society that said: 11 million cancer survivors, we can't stop there. Make that 11,000,001...huge grin. Today I had my post treatment physical and received a clean bill of health...happy, happy girl. The cancer that I had, not my cancer, because I never claimed it as mine, is gone. And will stay gone because it is not welcome here. I have felt from the very beginning that when I had my surgery in July that the cancer was cut from my body and that I was cancer free. I look at the treatment I received as a precautionary engine flush.
What now? I will have blood work done that tests my protein markers (a cancer indicator) every 3 months for 2 years, every 4 months for 2 years, and finally every 6 months for 1 year. If at the end of 5 years I haven't had a reoccurrence (which I have no intention of having) I am considered cured.
My doctor tells me that it will take approximately nine to 12 weeks to get back to feeling like myself again. I so look forward to start ridding myself of the side effects of chemo therapy.
Port hole from hell update...it's still there, and it still hurts. This is a discussion that I have with Dr. McC. during every visit. For now, and for as long as I can tolerate it, we are going to table my port issue until my first follow up appointment in February at which time we will move forward to resolve the issue once and for all. What that means...I'm not exactly sure. I just know that there needs to be an end to the continuous pain and discomfort. I question as to if I can make it til then. May the force be with me.
What now? I will have blood work done that tests my protein markers (a cancer indicator) every 3 months for 2 years, every 4 months for 2 years, and finally every 6 months for 1 year. If at the end of 5 years I haven't had a reoccurrence (which I have no intention of having) I am considered cured.
My doctor tells me that it will take approximately nine to 12 weeks to get back to feeling like myself again. I so look forward to start ridding myself of the side effects of chemo therapy.
Port hole from hell update...it's still there, and it still hurts. This is a discussion that I have with Dr. McC. during every visit. For now, and for as long as I can tolerate it, we are going to table my port issue until my first follow up appointment in February at which time we will move forward to resolve the issue once and for all. What that means...I'm not exactly sure. I just know that there needs to be an end to the continuous pain and discomfort. I question as to if I can make it til then. May the force be with me.
Monday, November 7, 2011
October 28, 2011 - The Transfusion
Friday - October 28, 2011
Today's transfusion buddy and transportation provided by Mike (Bro).
Here it is three days before Halloween (my second favorite holiday) and I am at the hospital getting a blood transfusion. After receiving two pints of blood I feel the same as when I arrived...tuckered. Nurse "L" told me that even after receiving two pints of blood I would still be anemic because my count was 21 when I arrived and the transfusion would take me to 26 or 27 which is still anemic. Well shitski...I was hoping to be Wonder Woman by tomorrow...or at least by Halloween on Monday. She also told me it could take up to 24 hours to feel a difference and that I should call my doctor if my symptoms (shortness of breath, dizziness, heart palpitations, exhaustion, etc) don't improve.
Monday - October 31, 2011
I have color in my face but nothing much has changed other than that so I put a call into my doctor. I'll spare you the details but why does everything have to be such a challenge? Be your own advocate people...and if you aren't able...have someone else do it for you. By the end of the day (and a follow up phone call by moi) a second transfusion had been ordered and I am on stand by to hear back the date and time of the transfusion.
Tuesday - November 1, 2011
First thing this morning I phoned the hospital (stand by doesn't really work for me...Cindy likes to drive the bus) to confirm my doctors orders and schedule the actual transfusion. I feel like crap people...let's get me some relief! My transfusion is scheduled for tomorrow (Wednesday) at 9:30am. I was told prior to coming in on Wednesday for the transfusion I would need to have a type and match test. Mind you...I just had a type and match test on Thursday...today is Tuesday...hello? Apparently someone might have sucked out all of my blood since Thursday and refiled me with 10/40 weight and I would no longer be a match. I'm certain there must be a good reason why I had to repeat the type and match...I just can't think of one.
Wednesday - November 2, 2011
Today's transfusion buddy and transportation provided by Bob (Friend and Boss).
Received my second transfusion today...I did't feel much of a difference by the time I left the hospital but, I did feel a difference later in the day. Ahhhh....so that's what having some energy feels like...you have been missing in action for so long now I had forgotten.
I have my post-treatment physical with Dr. McC. tomorrow...details to follow.
Today's transfusion buddy and transportation provided by Mike (Bro).
Here it is three days before Halloween (my second favorite holiday) and I am at the hospital getting a blood transfusion. After receiving two pints of blood I feel the same as when I arrived...tuckered. Nurse "L" told me that even after receiving two pints of blood I would still be anemic because my count was 21 when I arrived and the transfusion would take me to 26 or 27 which is still anemic. Well shitski...I was hoping to be Wonder Woman by tomorrow...or at least by Halloween on Monday. She also told me it could take up to 24 hours to feel a difference and that I should call my doctor if my symptoms (shortness of breath, dizziness, heart palpitations, exhaustion, etc) don't improve.
Monday - October 31, 2011
I have color in my face but nothing much has changed other than that so I put a call into my doctor. I'll spare you the details but why does everything have to be such a challenge? Be your own advocate people...and if you aren't able...have someone else do it for you. By the end of the day (and a follow up phone call by moi) a second transfusion had been ordered and I am on stand by to hear back the date and time of the transfusion.
Tuesday - November 1, 2011
First thing this morning I phoned the hospital (stand by doesn't really work for me...Cindy likes to drive the bus) to confirm my doctors orders and schedule the actual transfusion. I feel like crap people...let's get me some relief! My transfusion is scheduled for tomorrow (Wednesday) at 9:30am. I was told prior to coming in on Wednesday for the transfusion I would need to have a type and match test. Mind you...I just had a type and match test on Thursday...today is Tuesday...hello? Apparently someone might have sucked out all of my blood since Thursday and refiled me with 10/40 weight and I would no longer be a match. I'm certain there must be a good reason why I had to repeat the type and match...I just can't think of one.
Wednesday - November 2, 2011
Today's transfusion buddy and transportation provided by Bob (Friend and Boss).
Received my second transfusion today...I did't feel much of a difference by the time I left the hospital but, I did feel a difference later in the day. Ahhhh....so that's what having some energy feels like...you have been missing in action for so long now I had forgotten.
I have my post-treatment physical with Dr. McC. tomorrow...details to follow.
Friday, October 28, 2011
October 27, 2011 - The Final Frontier (Treatment)
Today's chemo-sabe and transportation provided by Sandy...my big sis (major smooches).
Well...I made it. Or should I say...I survived it. Tears are welling up in my eyes as I write this. 16 weeks of treatment and two surgeries later...bajeezus, what a haul. I want to tell each of you thank you. Thank you for your thoughts, prayers, comments, cards, flowers, gifts, letters, emails, phone calls, text messages, cleaning my house, doing my shopping, taking out my garbage and recycling, running my errands, taking me to treatment, cooking meals, overnight escapes, but mostly, thank you for your words. Words of acknowledgement (of what I am going through) and encouragement. You my family and friends played a large part in keeping me strong.
Today's final treatment was uneventful yet interesting and oh so sweet. Labs, vitals and then off to the Infusion Suite. Today's oncology nurse was "C" whom I adore. She was a great pull for my final treatment. "C" came to the door of my room and asked "how are you feeling?" My reply...crappy. She said...no energy, tired all the time, heart palpitations, shortness of breath, dizzy? My reply...d). all of it and then some. Sweetie she said...your blood cell count is 21, we transfuse at 26...you need a blood transfusion...your counts have been low for three weeks...how do you feel about that? Within a few minutes she had spoken with Dr.McC. and it was scheduled. She assures me that I am going to feel so much better. The increase in energy that I will feel will last about a week...works for me. "C" also scheduled me for labs next week to check and see if my count is up to normal. If not, I need to talk with Dr. McC. about another transfusion to help keep me on the road to good health. Directly following treatment Sandy and I were off to the hospital for a type and match test. My transfusion is scheduled for tomorrow and I can hardly wait to see how I feel. On to treatment..."C" had her work cut out for her today since my veins have been less than cooperative for the past several weeks. Needle goes in, vein collapses...no blood return...damn. My body has worked so hard for me these past sixteen weeks. Two surgeries and a controlled poisoning...well, it's true about the controlled poisoning. It amazes me what my body has done and what it will continue to do as I recover from treatment. After two failed attempts to place an IV "C" invited "C" to join the party. After a few minutes she was able to gain access to one of my elusive veins. Let my final treatment begin...and end!
Well...I made it. Or should I say...I survived it. Tears are welling up in my eyes as I write this. 16 weeks of treatment and two surgeries later...bajeezus, what a haul. I want to tell each of you thank you. Thank you for your thoughts, prayers, comments, cards, flowers, gifts, letters, emails, phone calls, text messages, cleaning my house, doing my shopping, taking out my garbage and recycling, running my errands, taking me to treatment, cooking meals, overnight escapes, but mostly, thank you for your words. Words of acknowledgement (of what I am going through) and encouragement. You my family and friends played a large part in keeping me strong.
Today's final treatment was uneventful yet interesting and oh so sweet. Labs, vitals and then off to the Infusion Suite. Today's oncology nurse was "C" whom I adore. She was a great pull for my final treatment. "C" came to the door of my room and asked "how are you feeling?" My reply...crappy. She said...no energy, tired all the time, heart palpitations, shortness of breath, dizzy? My reply...d). all of it and then some. Sweetie she said...your blood cell count is 21, we transfuse at 26...you need a blood transfusion...your counts have been low for three weeks...how do you feel about that? Within a few minutes she had spoken with Dr.McC. and it was scheduled. She assures me that I am going to feel so much better. The increase in energy that I will feel will last about a week...works for me. "C" also scheduled me for labs next week to check and see if my count is up to normal. If not, I need to talk with Dr. McC. about another transfusion to help keep me on the road to good health. Directly following treatment Sandy and I were off to the hospital for a type and match test. My transfusion is scheduled for tomorrow and I can hardly wait to see how I feel. On to treatment..."C" had her work cut out for her today since my veins have been less than cooperative for the past several weeks. Needle goes in, vein collapses...no blood return...damn. My body has worked so hard for me these past sixteen weeks. Two surgeries and a controlled poisoning...well, it's true about the controlled poisoning. It amazes me what my body has done and what it will continue to do as I recover from treatment. After two failed attempts to place an IV "C" invited "C" to join the party. After a few minutes she was able to gain access to one of my elusive veins. Let my final treatment begin...and end!
Sunday, October 23, 2011
October 23, 2011 - Chemo Sucks
CHEMO SUCKS...The side effects suck even more. Today has been a day from side effect hell. The up side...friends and family call and visit providing their undying support. What a journey we are all traveling on together. Destination not to be revisited.
October 20, 2011 - Treatment #15
Today's chemo-sabe and transportation provided by Mike (aka Bro)
I've just gotten up and I'm already exhausted. This last week kicked my butt. No energy, no reserve, no nothing...and I mean nothing. This is what you get when you are 15 weeks into a 16 week treatment cycle. The good news is that I have one, count'em one treatment left. Holy crap...what a happy girl I am.
Mike and I arrive at NCS...labs, vitals, and upstairs to the Infusion Suite. Today's Oncology Nurse is "J" who gave me my very first treatment. After warming me up...hot packs and a heating pad to my forearm since my veins are being elusive (isn't that just like a girl fish) "J" made her first attempt at getting an IV started. Then the second, third, fourth, and fifth. That's when she said she was done (thank gawd) and was going to call in the big guns and have "D" put in an AC IV. Trust me, after five attempts, I was more than ready. Bajeezus! Once "D" arrived she had an AC IV hooked up within 60 seconds (gotta love the hands of experience). An AC IV is just an IV that goes in the crook of your arm where they normally draw blood from. It isn't a preferred location as the patient needs to keep their arm straight during the treatment process (2 and 1/2 to 3 hours) to avoid cocktail leakage. And we don't want anymore cocktail leakage...been there, done that...got the souvenir. But since I brought it up...yes, I still have the chemo cocktail in the area where the IP port from hell once resided. Frick!
I've just gotten up and I'm already exhausted. This last week kicked my butt. No energy, no reserve, no nothing...and I mean nothing. This is what you get when you are 15 weeks into a 16 week treatment cycle. The good news is that I have one, count'em one treatment left. Holy crap...what a happy girl I am.
Mike and I arrive at NCS...labs, vitals, and upstairs to the Infusion Suite. Today's Oncology Nurse is "J" who gave me my very first treatment. After warming me up...hot packs and a heating pad to my forearm since my veins are being elusive (isn't that just like a girl fish) "J" made her first attempt at getting an IV started. Then the second, third, fourth, and fifth. That's when she said she was done (thank gawd) and was going to call in the big guns and have "D" put in an AC IV. Trust me, after five attempts, I was more than ready. Bajeezus! Once "D" arrived she had an AC IV hooked up within 60 seconds (gotta love the hands of experience). An AC IV is just an IV that goes in the crook of your arm where they normally draw blood from. It isn't a preferred location as the patient needs to keep their arm straight during the treatment process (2 and 1/2 to 3 hours) to avoid cocktail leakage. And we don't want anymore cocktail leakage...been there, done that...got the souvenir. But since I brought it up...yes, I still have the chemo cocktail in the area where the IP port from hell once resided. Frick!
Saturday, October 15, 2011
October 13, 2011 -Treatment #14
Today's chemo-sabe and transportation provided by Sharon
Today was the beginning of the end for my treatment. After labs (I am slightly anemic but not enough to withhold treatment) and seeing Dr. McC. I received the first treatment of my final round of chemo...this was also the final dual (mega) treatment of both Taxol and Carboplatin. I wish you could hear the sigh that just released from my body. I think the tee-shirts that I often see that say "Cancer Survivor" should read "Chemo Survivor" Bajeezus!
Humor me here while I list a few side effects...this is why I believe it should be chemo survivor:
Hair loss, tender scalp...ouch.
Complexion change...and not for the better, acne really?
Blurred vision...what the hell was that?
Swollen face and head...oh, so attractive.
Multiple daily bloody nose...such a bother.
Teeth...incredibly sensitive.
Blisters on forearms...amateur compared to my legs.
Stomach discomfort...I think something is eating me from the inside out.
Output Issues...TMI I know, and that's all I'll say (laughing).
IP Port Issues...the port is long gone, but the chemo fluid that leaked remains. Frick!
Blister's on my legs...my body HATES chemo...I look like I have jungle rot.
Neuropathy in my toes and little fingers...irritating as hell.
Food and Beverage Consumption...most weeks I have two days with a good appetite and when food tastes like it should. The other five days my taster is off and nothing tastes right...water, which is my beverage of choice taste like tin.
Energy...zero, nada, zilch...I need a Buzz Lightyear battery pack. Upstairs to main floor to basement to shower to main floor to couch. Holy crap, did someone get the license number of the truck that hit me?
With all of the side effects and mishaps of treatment I still feel very positive about it. I haven't been nauseous from treatment (thank you, thank you, thank you), and, I have stayed strong and pushed forward refusing to give treatment an inch. 14 treatments down, 2 to go. Shut the front door!
Onward to today's treatment...two IV attempts and we were locked and loaded (thank you nurse "D"). A yummy Reiki treatment with "J" (one of the perks of treatment) and before I knew it treatment was done and Sharon and I were at Sushi Ville enjoying a late lunch (no crowd, back booth). Because I receive IV steroids on Thursday's I usually have the appetite of a trucker on Thursday's and Friday's and water, glorious water...tastes like water. Drink up Girl Fish.
Today was the beginning of the end for my treatment. After labs (I am slightly anemic but not enough to withhold treatment) and seeing Dr. McC. I received the first treatment of my final round of chemo...this was also the final dual (mega) treatment of both Taxol and Carboplatin. I wish you could hear the sigh that just released from my body. I think the tee-shirts that I often see that say "Cancer Survivor" should read "Chemo Survivor" Bajeezus!
Humor me here while I list a few side effects...this is why I believe it should be chemo survivor:
Hair loss, tender scalp...ouch.
Complexion change...and not for the better, acne really?
Blurred vision...what the hell was that?
Swollen face and head...oh, so attractive.
Multiple daily bloody nose...such a bother.
Teeth...incredibly sensitive.
Blisters on forearms...amateur compared to my legs.
Stomach discomfort...I think something is eating me from the inside out.
Output Issues...TMI I know, and that's all I'll say (laughing).
IP Port Issues...the port is long gone, but the chemo fluid that leaked remains. Frick!
Blister's on my legs...my body HATES chemo...I look like I have jungle rot.
Neuropathy in my toes and little fingers...irritating as hell.
Food and Beverage Consumption...most weeks I have two days with a good appetite and when food tastes like it should. The other five days my taster is off and nothing tastes right...water, which is my beverage of choice taste like tin.
Energy...zero, nada, zilch...I need a Buzz Lightyear battery pack. Upstairs to main floor to basement to shower to main floor to couch. Holy crap, did someone get the license number of the truck that hit me?
With all of the side effects and mishaps of treatment I still feel very positive about it. I haven't been nauseous from treatment (thank you, thank you, thank you), and, I have stayed strong and pushed forward refusing to give treatment an inch. 14 treatments down, 2 to go. Shut the front door!
Onward to today's treatment...two IV attempts and we were locked and loaded (thank you nurse "D"). A yummy Reiki treatment with "J" (one of the perks of treatment) and before I knew it treatment was done and Sharon and I were at Sushi Ville enjoying a late lunch (no crowd, back booth). Because I receive IV steroids on Thursday's I usually have the appetite of a trucker on Thursday's and Friday's and water, glorious water...tastes like water. Drink up Girl Fish.
Technical Diffculties
Hello Everyone!
There have been a number of you who have contacted me and commented that you aren't able to become a follower on my blog or, it won't allow you to make a comment. I have no idea what the deal is with that but I feel certain it has something to do with the black hole that was once my IP port...laughing. If you have been a regular follower you know why I made that comment. For those of you who would like to contact me and are having difficulty commenting directly on my blog, please feel free to email me at CinWa39@aol.com or contact me though Facebook.
There have been a number of you who have contacted me and commented that you aren't able to become a follower on my blog or, it won't allow you to make a comment. I have no idea what the deal is with that but I feel certain it has something to do with the black hole that was once my IP port...laughing. If you have been a regular follower you know why I made that comment. For those of you who would like to contact me and are having difficulty commenting directly on my blog, please feel free to email me at CinWa39@aol.com or contact me though Facebook.
Friday, October 7, 2011
Big Girls They Do Get Weary...
This last week was ugly. Not my worst, but a close second. Now that I receive chemo weekly there is no rest for the weary...and this big girl, she's been weary (my mind is a funny thing...when I wrote the word weary I immediately had a vision of Ducky from the movie Pretty in Pink where he sings and dances to Otis Redding's "Try a Little Tenderness"). And, even though I sometimes feel weary, my body and I are kicking cancer's weary ass each and every day. Big girl "1", cancer "0".
Back to Ducky and his imitation of Otis Redding...how can something so goofy make me smile so hard my face hurts?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eiC7PGToXVU&feature=youtube_gdata_player
Back to Ducky and his imitation of Otis Redding...how can something so goofy make me smile so hard my face hurts?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eiC7PGToXVU&feature=youtube_gdata_player
Thursday, October 6, 2011
Teletubbies Unite!
I have always had a big head...not as in inflated, but as in large. Who knew it could get even bigger. I started noticing the transformation a few weeks back. One morning when I looked into the mirror I no longer saw myself looking back...but rather saw what appeared to be the metamorphosis of a Teletubbie. Or perhaps my head is morphing into a large pumpkin...just in time for Halloween...grin. Ooohhhhh....I just had a mental visualization of the creepy guy on the horse with no head and a large pumpkin in his hand. Shiver...I choose the Teletubbie.
FYI...the swelling is the result of the steroids. Gotta love em, gotta hate em.
FYI...the swelling is the result of the steroids. Gotta love em, gotta hate em.
October 6, 2011 - Treatment #13
Today's chemo-sabe and transportation provided by Sharon.
Today's treatment nurse was "C." I met "C" a few weeks back. One of my other chemo nurses brought "C" into my room and asked if I would show her my legs (blisters from the Taxol...bajeezus) and to let her see and touch the area where the chemo fluid leaked (double bajeezus) from my IP. I felt like I was the object of show and tell...ooooh, look what Cindy has. The chemo-cocktail is still lodged in my chub cells surrounding where my IP was. Some day's the discomfort is not so bad, some day's the discomfort hurts like a mo-fo. Someday soon...we need to figure out how to get it the hell out of there.
As far as treatment goes, today was as it should be. I was in and out in three hours. Labs, vitals, treatment...she's done...bye-bye.
Today's treatment nurse was "C." I met "C" a few weeks back. One of my other chemo nurses brought "C" into my room and asked if I would show her my legs (blisters from the Taxol...bajeezus) and to let her see and touch the area where the chemo fluid leaked (double bajeezus) from my IP. I felt like I was the object of show and tell...ooooh, look what Cindy has. The chemo-cocktail is still lodged in my chub cells surrounding where my IP was. Some day's the discomfort is not so bad, some day's the discomfort hurts like a mo-fo. Someday soon...we need to figure out how to get it the hell out of there.
As far as treatment goes, today was as it should be. I was in and out in three hours. Labs, vitals, treatment...she's done...bye-bye.
Monday, October 3, 2011
September 29, 2011 - Treatment #12
Today's chemo-sabe and transportation provided by Jim
Nothing to exciting today other than being escorted to treatment by my long time friend and ex-fiancé Jim. OK, about the ex-fiancé part. After a 29 year engagement I had to end it, I just don't think he was serious...a girl can only wait so long. Our story involves decades of friendship, love, laughter, and a mother-load (50 carat?...seriously. Like I always said...big girl, big ring) solitaire, princess cut, amethyst stone given to me by Jim on my 50th. Someday I'll share the entire story.
Back to today's treatment. Labs...done in a flash. Vitals...lost in the shuffle yet again. I'm serious, how in the hell does this happen? That's twice now. Everyone going for treatment has labs, then vitals, then onward and upward to the Infusion Suite...standard procedure. Clearly I need to be more vocal in communicating to them what I am there for since they don't always seem to know. Imagine that...me being vocal...laughing.
My white blood cell count is low and I am running a slight fever but Dr. McC. gives a thumbs up to treatment. Ms "B" is my nurse for today. I love it that she talks to my body about being cooperative and giving her a nice vein to work with. Between the two of us...my hydration efforts, a hot wet pack wrapped in a heating pad, followed by some gentle massage and a pop or two on my arm (kinky)...we got a hit on the first attempt. Two and a half hours later Jim and I were outta there...now that's what I'm talking about.
Nothing to exciting today other than being escorted to treatment by my long time friend and ex-fiancé Jim. OK, about the ex-fiancé part. After a 29 year engagement I had to end it, I just don't think he was serious...a girl can only wait so long. Our story involves decades of friendship, love, laughter, and a mother-load (50 carat?...seriously. Like I always said...big girl, big ring) solitaire, princess cut, amethyst stone given to me by Jim on my 50th. Someday I'll share the entire story.
Back to today's treatment. Labs...done in a flash. Vitals...lost in the shuffle yet again. I'm serious, how in the hell does this happen? That's twice now. Everyone going for treatment has labs, then vitals, then onward and upward to the Infusion Suite...standard procedure. Clearly I need to be more vocal in communicating to them what I am there for since they don't always seem to know. Imagine that...me being vocal...laughing.
My white blood cell count is low and I am running a slight fever but Dr. McC. gives a thumbs up to treatment. Ms "B" is my nurse for today. I love it that she talks to my body about being cooperative and giving her a nice vein to work with. Between the two of us...my hydration efforts, a hot wet pack wrapped in a heating pad, followed by some gentle massage and a pop or two on my arm (kinky)...we got a hit on the first attempt. Two and a half hours later Jim and I were outta there...now that's what I'm talking about.
Monday, September 26, 2011
September 22, 2010 - Treatment #11
Today's Chemo-Sabe and transportation provided by Michelle.
A poke is a poke is a poke...right? Unless it takes two nurses, four attempts, over two hours to get your IV started. My veins are collapsing and some scar tissue is developing making it challenging. Still...the nurses and I stay positive, talk nice to my body, laugh and giggle and eventually find a willing participant. The first thing out of my mouth when we finally make a connection...let's get this party started!
A little something more about staying positive...today I pulled "L" as my primary nurse. This is the first time "L" and I have been partnered up. I think she is the last nurse standing that had yet to be partnered with me. She told me that she specifically told the other nurses "today, I get Cindy." I'm thinking wow, you must be feeling up to a challenge based on my track record...port issues, uncontrollable pain, port issues, IV struggles, port issues, etc. "L" then explained to me that the nurses talk about me. Laughing...I'm certain they do (a little secret...I talk about them too). How wonderful it was to have her share with me why they talk about me. Seems they like to be partnered with me because they see me as always being positive, smiling, willing to do whatever it takes to make treatment happen and I'm thankful at the end of the day that I have one more treatment under my belt (no pun intended...but that did make me giggle). I commented to "L" why be any other way when treatment is already so challenging...why make it more difficult on everyone? She assured me I would be surprised.
Keep your face to the sunshine people...life is good.
A poke is a poke is a poke...right? Unless it takes two nurses, four attempts, over two hours to get your IV started. My veins are collapsing and some scar tissue is developing making it challenging. Still...the nurses and I stay positive, talk nice to my body, laugh and giggle and eventually find a willing participant. The first thing out of my mouth when we finally make a connection...let's get this party started!
A little something more about staying positive...today I pulled "L" as my primary nurse. This is the first time "L" and I have been partnered up. I think she is the last nurse standing that had yet to be partnered with me. She told me that she specifically told the other nurses "today, I get Cindy." I'm thinking wow, you must be feeling up to a challenge based on my track record...port issues, uncontrollable pain, port issues, IV struggles, port issues, etc. "L" then explained to me that the nurses talk about me. Laughing...I'm certain they do (a little secret...I talk about them too). How wonderful it was to have her share with me why they talk about me. Seems they like to be partnered with me because they see me as always being positive, smiling, willing to do whatever it takes to make treatment happen and I'm thankful at the end of the day that I have one more treatment under my belt (no pun intended...but that did make me giggle). I commented to "L" why be any other way when treatment is already so challenging...why make it more difficult on everyone? She assured me I would be surprised.
Keep your face to the sunshine people...life is good.
Sunday, September 18, 2011
September 15, 2011 - Treatment #10 (double digits...holy shit!)
Today's chemo-sabe and transportation provided by: Michelle (Shelly)
Another uneventful treatment day...happy girl. An uneventful treatment day for me is like winning the lottery. You hope you will win and when you do...it feels so good.
I still need a private room rather than being out in the general population so I can lay down. I need to lay down because of the discomfort I feel from the chemo fluid that is trapped in my fatty tissue (I prefer chubby tissue...but whatever...grin) from a month ago when my port malfunctioned. Sitting up...bad. Reclining and unzipping my pants...good. Today I asked my treatment nurse "C" her opinion (let me tell you about "C"...I put her knowledge, skill and ability right up there with my doctor) and possible thoughts on how to evict the fluid from my body. Her opinion parallels mine...it needs to go...and the sooner the better. However, easier said than done. Apparently this fluid is quite happy in my chub and is going to have to be coaxed to leave. Plan of attack...heating pad, pain medication to control the discomfort (which to date haven't worked. Enter...new dosage/medication plan) and gentle massage.
Cindy to body...trapped chemo fluid you are not welcome here. Run, run for your life. Cuz I am going to cook you with this heating pad and then force your runny little toxic ass out of my chub!
Another uneventful treatment day...happy girl. An uneventful treatment day for me is like winning the lottery. You hope you will win and when you do...it feels so good.
I still need a private room rather than being out in the general population so I can lay down. I need to lay down because of the discomfort I feel from the chemo fluid that is trapped in my fatty tissue (I prefer chubby tissue...but whatever...grin) from a month ago when my port malfunctioned. Sitting up...bad. Reclining and unzipping my pants...good. Today I asked my treatment nurse "C" her opinion (let me tell you about "C"...I put her knowledge, skill and ability right up there with my doctor) and possible thoughts on how to evict the fluid from my body. Her opinion parallels mine...it needs to go...and the sooner the better. However, easier said than done. Apparently this fluid is quite happy in my chub and is going to have to be coaxed to leave. Plan of attack...heating pad, pain medication to control the discomfort (which to date haven't worked. Enter...new dosage/medication plan) and gentle massage.
Cindy to body...trapped chemo fluid you are not welcome here. Run, run for your life. Cuz I am going to cook you with this heating pad and then force your runny little toxic ass out of my chub!
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
September 13, 2011 - The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly
One of my best friends asked me last week "so, how is it?" Knowing exactly what she meant it didn't take much for me to reply as the title to an old western came to mind. The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly.
The Good - My surgery. A full hysterectomy with a quick and relatively pain free recovery.
The Bad - Being diagnosed with Fallopian cancer.
The Ugly - The challenges of treatment.
Yesterday was an especially bad day. Cold sweats, blurred vision, trembling, dizzy when standing/moving, zero energy, everything that comes in contact with my mouth tastes like tin, my arms and legs continue to breakout with small blisters, tingling and numbness in the balls of my feet, etc. All side effects of treatment.
I have had some ugly days, there is no doubt about it. I am nine weeks into treatment and have seven more to go and know full well that there is the strong possibility that there will be more ugly days ahead. If I had to do it over again would I make a different choice? Even with the ugliness of my bumpy days (which is my way of describing my shit days) I would do it again in a heart beat.
The Good - My surgery. A full hysterectomy with a quick and relatively pain free recovery.
The Bad - Being diagnosed with Fallopian cancer.
The Ugly - The challenges of treatment.
Yesterday was an especially bad day. Cold sweats, blurred vision, trembling, dizzy when standing/moving, zero energy, everything that comes in contact with my mouth tastes like tin, my arms and legs continue to breakout with small blisters, tingling and numbness in the balls of my feet, etc. All side effects of treatment.
I have had some ugly days, there is no doubt about it. I am nine weeks into treatment and have seven more to go and know full well that there is the strong possibility that there will be more ugly days ahead. If I had to do it over again would I make a different choice? Even with the ugliness of my bumpy days (which is my way of describing my shit days) I would do it again in a heart beat.
September 8, 2011 - Treatment #9
Today's chemo-sabe and transportation provided by: Muk (aka Sharon)
Labs, vitals, and treatment (Taxol) today. The ladies of the lab have the gift of a good vampire. A quick, efficient, painless stick and I am in and out. Vitals next...next...next? Hello? Let me just say that I got lost in the shuffle somehow and waited 40 minutes to have my vitals taken. Something that I could have done myself...more efficiently...and in much less time. Weight, blood pressure, pulse, temperature. How do you lose someone in the shuffle who needs to have their vitals taken before going upstairs to the infusion suite? Did I mention I was crabby today? I did have a good laugh though when the medical assistant weighed me and I had lost 83 pounds from the prior week. Yep, that's right...83 pounds. I had to assure the medical assistant that the scale was stuck from the prior patient and that for confidentiality reasons it would be great if they check the scale after use ensure that it went back to zero. Imagine the trauma I could cause to the patient following me...good gawd all mighty!
Today's treatment process was easy...minor challenge finding a good place to stick me but success on the first attempt. Ms. "K" whom was today's treatment nurse was kind, knowledgeable and efficient. Me likee.
Labs, vitals, and treatment (Taxol) today. The ladies of the lab have the gift of a good vampire. A quick, efficient, painless stick and I am in and out. Vitals next...next...next? Hello? Let me just say that I got lost in the shuffle somehow and waited 40 minutes to have my vitals taken. Something that I could have done myself...more efficiently...and in much less time. Weight, blood pressure, pulse, temperature. How do you lose someone in the shuffle who needs to have their vitals taken before going upstairs to the infusion suite? Did I mention I was crabby today? I did have a good laugh though when the medical assistant weighed me and I had lost 83 pounds from the prior week. Yep, that's right...83 pounds. I had to assure the medical assistant that the scale was stuck from the prior patient and that for confidentiality reasons it would be great if they check the scale after use ensure that it went back to zero. Imagine the trauma I could cause to the patient following me...good gawd all mighty!
Today's treatment process was easy...minor challenge finding a good place to stick me but success on the first attempt. Ms. "K" whom was today's treatment nurse was kind, knowledgeable and efficient. Me likee.
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
September 1, 2011 - New Treatment Plan
Today's chemo-sabe and transportation provided by: Sandy (Sis)
Day one of my new treatment plan (IV only) now that my port has been removed. I still receive treatment in a private room as I am not yet able to sit upright for long periods of time. Slouching is my new sitting. Sitting upright causes too much discomfort in the area where my port was and where all of that chemo fluid collected several weeks ago and still resides. Bastard fluid...enough already...get the hell out of there! Hot packs, cold packs, massage, drugs, talking nicely to it...taking badly to it (grin). Nothing has made it pack it's bags and hit the road in it's entirety. The doctor assures me with time my body will absorb it. I think my body has other ideas of it's own right now and absorbing chemo fluid isn't one of them.
The first attempt to place today's IV line failed, but was OK. Second attempted failed, ouch, that was kinda ugly. Third attempt failed...bajeesus that hurt (watching my sister's face confirmed how much it hurt). Fourth attempt....bingo! My veins did not want to cooperate today...first time ever. My left arm looks like I went three rounds with a Tasmanian Devil. I would guess my veins are sick of being poked and prodded. When I think about the number of blood draws and IV's that I have had in the past three weeks it's amazing that I am not leaking.
Today's treatment is the halfway point for me. Eight treatments down, eight to go. Yee-haw! In some regard the past two months have gone by so quickly. On the other hand, it has felt like the longest two months of my life. I continue to focus on October 27th, my final day of treatment and try to keep in perspective that this time in my life is but a bleep on my life's radar. That I have pulled into the shop for my 54,000 mile tune-up and that this maintenance will keep me on the road for years to come in fine working order. Wanna kick my tires?
Day one of my new treatment plan (IV only) now that my port has been removed. I still receive treatment in a private room as I am not yet able to sit upright for long periods of time. Slouching is my new sitting. Sitting upright causes too much discomfort in the area where my port was and where all of that chemo fluid collected several weeks ago and still resides. Bastard fluid...enough already...get the hell out of there! Hot packs, cold packs, massage, drugs, talking nicely to it...taking badly to it (grin). Nothing has made it pack it's bags and hit the road in it's entirety. The doctor assures me with time my body will absorb it. I think my body has other ideas of it's own right now and absorbing chemo fluid isn't one of them.
The first attempt to place today's IV line failed, but was OK. Second attempted failed, ouch, that was kinda ugly. Third attempt failed...bajeesus that hurt (watching my sister's face confirmed how much it hurt). Fourth attempt....bingo! My veins did not want to cooperate today...first time ever. My left arm looks like I went three rounds with a Tasmanian Devil. I would guess my veins are sick of being poked and prodded. When I think about the number of blood draws and IV's that I have had in the past three weeks it's amazing that I am not leaking.
Today's treatment is the halfway point for me. Eight treatments down, eight to go. Yee-haw! In some regard the past two months have gone by so quickly. On the other hand, it has felt like the longest two months of my life. I continue to focus on October 27th, my final day of treatment and try to keep in perspective that this time in my life is but a bleep on my life's radar. That I have pulled into the shop for my 54,000 mile tune-up and that this maintenance will keep me on the road for years to come in fine working order. Wanna kick my tires?
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
Monday, August 29, 2011 - Port Removal/Replacement Day
Today's Transportation and Support Provided by Mike and Nana Barb
Today's procedure went off without a hitch. Dr. McC. successfully removed my defunct old port but was not able to replace it. I knew going into today that this was a possibility. Starting this Thursday I will have treatment (Taxol and Carboplatin) weekly delivered via IV.
Below is a photo of a Intraperitoneal Port (IP). This is what I had removed from my cavity. I must say that some of the discomfort that I had been feeling from the day of surgery is now gone. I won't miss that burning sensation. Like my friend Janice said...my body didn't like that port from the get go.
Today's procedure went off without a hitch. Dr. McC. successfully removed my defunct old port but was not able to replace it. I knew going into today that this was a possibility. Starting this Thursday I will have treatment (Taxol and Carboplatin) weekly delivered via IV.
Below is a photo of a Intraperitoneal Port (IP). This is what I had removed from my cavity. I must say that some of the discomfort that I had been feeling from the day of surgery is now gone. I won't miss that burning sensation. Like my friend Janice said...my body didn't like that port from the get go.
Sunday, August 28, 2011
August 25, 2011 - A New Day...A New Port?
Today's chemo-sabe and transportation provided by Muk (aka Sharon)
No treatment today as my port is non-functional. After discussing all of my options, and non-options with Dr. McC. outpatient surgery is scheduled for Monday to remove my de-funked port and hopefully replace it. Even with all of the challenges and discomfort associated with my port I am wanting it replaced as it increases my odds for non-reoccurrence. Now this is where you say...but there isn't going to be a reoccurrence Cindy. And I say "damn straight there isn't...because this girl is already cancer free and is going to stay that way."
No treatment today as my port is non-functional. After discussing all of my options, and non-options with Dr. McC. outpatient surgery is scheduled for Monday to remove my de-funked port and hopefully replace it. Even with all of the challenges and discomfort associated with my port I am wanting it replaced as it increases my odds for non-reoccurrence. Now this is where you say...but there isn't going to be a reoccurrence Cindy. And I say "damn straight there isn't...because this girl is already cancer free and is going to stay that way."
Saturday, August 27, 2011
August 24, 2011 - Rinse, Lather, Repeat
The day started out OK...tummy and bowels under control. Not feeling great but it could be worse (did I really say that?). Fluid still harboring in my tissue and hurting like hell, exhausted, sleeping, sleeping, sleeping...then the unmistakable sounds of my intestinal track rebelling. Really? Are you serious? Give me a break! By 7:00pm all hell had broke loose again and it was an encore performance of Tuesday night.
August 23, 2011 - Too Much Information
Warning! Graphic Material Ahead
As if is wasn't bad enough that I am still reeling in discomfort from all of the treatment cocktail that is still in the tissue of my skin from Thursdays (08-18) treatment attempt...I was up all night with diarrhea and vomiting. And when I say all night, I mean all night. Uncontrollable, lousy, make me wanna lay on the floor in the bathroom, I am fricking exhausted, someone stop the bus because I want off diarrhea and then some little voice said "oh yeah, let's have her barf a couple of times too."
Tuesday night you spew from both ends like Krakatoe, East of Java...on Wednesday you get to spend the day at the treatment center receiving bags of IV fluids. I was so green when I walked in I think I scared the nurses. Let's be real, I scared myself.
As if is wasn't bad enough that I am still reeling in discomfort from all of the treatment cocktail that is still in the tissue of my skin from Thursdays (08-18) treatment attempt...I was up all night with diarrhea and vomiting. And when I say all night, I mean all night. Uncontrollable, lousy, make me wanna lay on the floor in the bathroom, I am fricking exhausted, someone stop the bus because I want off diarrhea and then some little voice said "oh yeah, let's have her barf a couple of times too."
Tuesday night you spew from both ends like Krakatoe, East of Java...on Wednesday you get to spend the day at the treatment center receiving bags of IV fluids. I was so green when I walked in I think I scared the nurses. Let's be real, I scared myself.
August 22, 2011 - Imagery @ Providence
8:15am appointment at Providence to have dye shot into my port to determine what the issue is after last Thursday's mishap. And clearly...there is an issue. My personal cocktail that should have been delivered to my tummy cavity is still laying within the layers of my tissue and to be honest...hurts like a mo-fo.
After some minor adjustments (OK...so I waited so long they took pity on me and gave me a $5.00 coupon for "Patient Use Only" in the cafeteria or coffee shop) at the hospital (they were expecting an external port, I have an internal port...which for some reason changed the players) we began. To make a long story short, my port is toast. Those were the imagery doctors exact words. The dye is going into the port, but not traveling through the surgical hose into my cavity. It was interesting to actually be able to see the port and hose on the image screen in diagnostics. My body amazes me.
I have a follow up appointment with Dr. Mc.C. on Thursday to discuss where we go from here since treatment in my port is no longer an option.
After some minor adjustments (OK...so I waited so long they took pity on me and gave me a $5.00 coupon for "Patient Use Only" in the cafeteria or coffee shop) at the hospital (they were expecting an external port, I have an internal port...which for some reason changed the players) we began. To make a long story short, my port is toast. Those were the imagery doctors exact words. The dye is going into the port, but not traveling through the surgical hose into my cavity. It was interesting to actually be able to see the port and hose on the image screen in diagnostics. My body amazes me.
I have a follow up appointment with Dr. Mc.C. on Thursday to discuss where we go from here since treatment in my port is no longer an option.
Monday, August 22, 2011
August 18, 2011 - Treatment #5
Today's chemo-sabe and transportation provided by: Muk (aka Sharon)
Today is the start of a new round so it is a full day at NWCS. Labs, a visit with doctor McCormick and dual treatment. Taxol in the IV and Cisplatin in my IP. First up labs. Let me tell you, the ladies that run the lab...efficient and fabulous each and every time. Next up Dr. McCormick. I am a litle off my game today as yesterday I was plagued (such an appropriate word) with 18 hours of diarrhea and vomiting...oh joy. By the time I see Dr. McCormick she already has the resuts of my blod work. My white blood cell count is borderline but we are going to move forward with treatment today but, she has prepared me for the possibility of no treatment next week if my white blood cell count continues to drop. I have a sneaking feeling that she knows it will be too low next week to administer.
Sharon and I head upstairs to Infusion Suite #1 which I have decided the fung-shui is off. I much prefer Infusion Suite #2. Just a feeling...but isn't that what the fung is all about? I accredit these feelings to my friend Janice (aka the Queen and Flower Fairy). Not only has Janice taught me about banking and cancer, apparently some of her fung-shui skills have rubbed off on me well...grin. A girls gotta be comfortable with her surroundings...no? My IV is up and running with the usual goodies...saline solution, benadryl, steroids and Taxol. Next up...saline solution (I even get extra because I am dehydrated)and Cisplatin in my IP. By this time I am running on fumes. Diarrhea, vomiting and 5 hours sleep is not a good day to have prior to a treatment day. They access my port, I lay down because I am so tired, Sharon is attempting to have a conversation with me and all I can feel are my eyes rolling back in my head. I woke up a few hours later when my nurse came in to check my drips. It was then that I noticed my side was wet, the bed was wet, and that I had a lump the size of a child's football cut in half over my port. Clearly the fluids that should have been going into my body cavity were building up under my skin. My nurse stops the IP, checks my 19 gauge needle (can you say big needle?) feels that it is positioned correctly, starts it up again and I start to burn. A burning sensation is a bad sensation and treatment is aborted for the day. At Dr. McCormick's orders I report to Providence Hospital on Monday morning for some imagery. They will access my port (fingers crossed), inject dye into it, and then do some imagery to determine if it is clogged, pinched, detached, missing (just kidding on the missing part), etc. Then back to see Dr. McCormick on Thursday for the results. Oh, I almost forgot...I also had a large injection of morphine to control the pain (this nurse was taking no prisoners) I was having and, we discovered that I have a yeast infection in my throat and possibly down into my esophagus. As a reward I get to swish and swallow a medication that tastes like my Grandmother's closet smelled. Two words...moth balls!
Today is the start of a new round so it is a full day at NWCS. Labs, a visit with doctor McCormick and dual treatment. Taxol in the IV and Cisplatin in my IP. First up labs. Let me tell you, the ladies that run the lab...efficient and fabulous each and every time. Next up Dr. McCormick. I am a litle off my game today as yesterday I was plagued (such an appropriate word) with 18 hours of diarrhea and vomiting...oh joy. By the time I see Dr. McCormick she already has the resuts of my blod work. My white blood cell count is borderline but we are going to move forward with treatment today but, she has prepared me for the possibility of no treatment next week if my white blood cell count continues to drop. I have a sneaking feeling that she knows it will be too low next week to administer.
Sharon and I head upstairs to Infusion Suite #1 which I have decided the fung-shui is off. I much prefer Infusion Suite #2. Just a feeling...but isn't that what the fung is all about? I accredit these feelings to my friend Janice (aka the Queen and Flower Fairy). Not only has Janice taught me about banking and cancer, apparently some of her fung-shui skills have rubbed off on me well...grin. A girls gotta be comfortable with her surroundings...no? My IV is up and running with the usual goodies...saline solution, benadryl, steroids and Taxol. Next up...saline solution (I even get extra because I am dehydrated)and Cisplatin in my IP. By this time I am running on fumes. Diarrhea, vomiting and 5 hours sleep is not a good day to have prior to a treatment day. They access my port, I lay down because I am so tired, Sharon is attempting to have a conversation with me and all I can feel are my eyes rolling back in my head. I woke up a few hours later when my nurse came in to check my drips. It was then that I noticed my side was wet, the bed was wet, and that I had a lump the size of a child's football cut in half over my port. Clearly the fluids that should have been going into my body cavity were building up under my skin. My nurse stops the IP, checks my 19 gauge needle (can you say big needle?) feels that it is positioned correctly, starts it up again and I start to burn. A burning sensation is a bad sensation and treatment is aborted for the day. At Dr. McCormick's orders I report to Providence Hospital on Monday morning for some imagery. They will access my port (fingers crossed), inject dye into it, and then do some imagery to determine if it is clogged, pinched, detached, missing (just kidding on the missing part), etc. Then back to see Dr. McCormick on Thursday for the results. Oh, I almost forgot...I also had a large injection of morphine to control the pain (this nurse was taking no prisoners) I was having and, we discovered that I have a yeast infection in my throat and possibly down into my esophagus. As a reward I get to swish and swallow a medication that tastes like my Grandmother's closet smelled. Two words...moth balls!
Friday, August 19, 2011
What is Hip?
Sunday - August 14, 2011
In an attempt to be hip, I decided to dye what hair I have left red. I have always wanted to know what I would look like as a red head and thought "what the hell, it's falling out anyway." Unfortunately, things didn't go as I had visioned. Basically my hair turned orange. And when I say orange, I mean orange. I look like the female, chemo treated version of Bozo the Clown (for those of you who might not know who Bozo is please see the image below). I am off to the store tomorrow to purchase some brown dye to cover it up. What's the worst that could happen?
Speaking of hair...I have noticed that the hair on my legs is almost gone. Skintimate (shaving cream) and Schick (razor) will not be happy. Tee-hee. The peach-fuzz on my face in thinning as well as hair in other places (grin). By the time I am done with treatment I could look like Kat Von D's cat (see image below) except I have blue eyes. Smiling...
In an attempt to be hip, I decided to dye what hair I have left red. I have always wanted to know what I would look like as a red head and thought "what the hell, it's falling out anyway." Unfortunately, things didn't go as I had visioned. Basically my hair turned orange. And when I say orange, I mean orange. I look like the female, chemo treated version of Bozo the Clown (for those of you who might not know who Bozo is please see the image below). I am off to the store tomorrow to purchase some brown dye to cover it up. What's the worst that could happen?
Speaking of hair...I have noticed that the hair on my legs is almost gone. Skintimate (shaving cream) and Schick (razor) will not be happy. Tee-hee. The peach-fuzz on my face in thinning as well as hair in other places (grin). By the time I am done with treatment I could look like Kat Von D's cat (see image below) except I have blue eyes. Smiling...
Friday, August 5, 2011
August 4th - Treatment #4
Today's chemo-sabe and transportation powered by: Shelley (aka Michelle)
Having had an ugly week I was a bit apprehensive about today's treatment. My stomach cavity is still tender and basically my body is just pissed. Sorry my friend, just stay focused on November and this will all be behind us (me talking to my tummy).
Shelley and I arrive at NWCS. Blood work...check, vitals...check (blood pressure up, pulse up...told you she was pissed). Next stop the Infusion Suite...second floor please.
IV in...check, IP (port in my side) successfully accessed...let the fluids begin. About 90 minutes into treatment I started having the same symptoms (pain in my right side, up through my torso and into the depths of my right shoulder) I had all last week, but much more intense. I know you are probably thinking...how intense? Nothing that eight doses of morphine couldn't take care of. Seriously. I requested pain meds, waited 20 minutes (now I know that there is protocol, but I was wrenching. And did I mention my pain threshold? High, high, high) and then asked Michelle to get the nurse and tell her that I needed something immediately, or, they needed to stop the IP. Michele quickly stood up, looked me the eyes and said...if I need to pull a Shirley McClain from Terms of Endearment I will. Going mach four with her hair on fire she was gone. Within seconds my nurse was there with two vials. She had gone downstairs to have a face to face with my doctor to discuss my pain (bless you "Nurse C"). First dose of morphine...nothing. Second dose...nothing. Now we have to wait 15 minutes. Doses three and four were offer and accepted simultaneously. And then...I needed to hit the ladies room. Funny thing when I stood up, I actually started to feel some relief. After being up and walking I had brought my pain level from a 4.5 to about a 3. Ahhhhhh. Unfortunately within about 30 minutes I could feel my pain level creeping back up. My nurse and doctor believe that because I have such a high pain threshold that when I verbalized it by their pain chart of 0 to 5, and tell them I am at a 3 or 4...I'm really a 6 or 7. My nurse gave me two more doses of morphine and said she was going to go back downstairs to talk with my doctor again to make arrangements to send something home with me stronger than my 600 ml Ibuprofen and Percocet since that clearly wasn't going to touch it. She also offered me two more doses of morphine just before I leave for the day to keep me comfortable. Yes please!
When Shelley and I went downstairs to leave for the day my doctor had left a script for Dilaudid. Michelle said well, that should do the trick since Dilaudid is a drug used for epidurals during childbirth. My thoughts...Perfect!
Although I only slept three hours last night...which isn't unusual for the night of treatment (steroids)I have been pain free. Yes Virginia there is a Santa Claus!
Having had an ugly week I was a bit apprehensive about today's treatment. My stomach cavity is still tender and basically my body is just pissed. Sorry my friend, just stay focused on November and this will all be behind us (me talking to my tummy).
Shelley and I arrive at NWCS. Blood work...check, vitals...check (blood pressure up, pulse up...told you she was pissed). Next stop the Infusion Suite...second floor please.
IV in...check, IP (port in my side) successfully accessed...let the fluids begin. About 90 minutes into treatment I started having the same symptoms (pain in my right side, up through my torso and into the depths of my right shoulder) I had all last week, but much more intense. I know you are probably thinking...how intense? Nothing that eight doses of morphine couldn't take care of. Seriously. I requested pain meds, waited 20 minutes (now I know that there is protocol, but I was wrenching. And did I mention my pain threshold? High, high, high) and then asked Michelle to get the nurse and tell her that I needed something immediately, or, they needed to stop the IP. Michele quickly stood up, looked me the eyes and said...if I need to pull a Shirley McClain from Terms of Endearment I will. Going mach four with her hair on fire she was gone. Within seconds my nurse was there with two vials. She had gone downstairs to have a face to face with my doctor to discuss my pain (bless you "Nurse C"). First dose of morphine...nothing. Second dose...nothing. Now we have to wait 15 minutes. Doses three and four were offer and accepted simultaneously. And then...I needed to hit the ladies room. Funny thing when I stood up, I actually started to feel some relief. After being up and walking I had brought my pain level from a 4.5 to about a 3. Ahhhhhh. Unfortunately within about 30 minutes I could feel my pain level creeping back up. My nurse and doctor believe that because I have such a high pain threshold that when I verbalized it by their pain chart of 0 to 5, and tell them I am at a 3 or 4...I'm really a 6 or 7. My nurse gave me two more doses of morphine and said she was going to go back downstairs to talk with my doctor again to make arrangements to send something home with me stronger than my 600 ml Ibuprofen and Percocet since that clearly wasn't going to touch it. She also offered me two more doses of morphine just before I leave for the day to keep me comfortable. Yes please!
When Shelley and I went downstairs to leave for the day my doctor had left a script for Dilaudid. Michelle said well, that should do the trick since Dilaudid is a drug used for epidurals during childbirth. My thoughts...Perfect!
Although I only slept three hours last night...which isn't unusual for the night of treatment (steroids)I have been pain free. Yes Virginia there is a Santa Claus!
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
July 28, 2011 - Treatment #3
Today's chemo-sabe and transportation partner powered by: Mike (aka my big bro)
Thursday's treatment session was pretty uneventful. It was what followed that I wasn't prepared for. Side effects...front and center. I knew that things would intensify as I moved forward in treatment. I just didn't expect to be shot forward like a scene from a Star Trek episode. Historically my bumpy days have been days four, five and six. This week I started feeling the effects on the day following treatment and they haven't let up. And rather than those days being bumpy, I would say it has been more like being on a carnival ride when you have had too much sun and cotton candy...then add a fair amount of pain. I phoned the triage nurse on Monday after a few days of Percocet and anti-nausea meds. After the standard questions...are you eating, drinking, pooping, running a fever? Yes, yes, yes, no. I was told I had two options. Go to the emergency room or set an appointment to see my doctor on Wednesday at the Vancouver Clinic (my doctor rotates between three clinics in addition to her surgical days). I don't think the emergency room would have really done anything for me other than what I am already doing for myself so I opted to fight like a girl and push through until I can see Dr. McC. on Wednesday. I know, a number of you are probably thinking damn girl, you should have gone to the emergency room...but, I also needed to weigh if I wanted to be exposed to all the potential illnesses I could/would come in contact with. Nada.
Thursday's treatment session was pretty uneventful. It was what followed that I wasn't prepared for. Side effects...front and center. I knew that things would intensify as I moved forward in treatment. I just didn't expect to be shot forward like a scene from a Star Trek episode. Historically my bumpy days have been days four, five and six. This week I started feeling the effects on the day following treatment and they haven't let up. And rather than those days being bumpy, I would say it has been more like being on a carnival ride when you have had too much sun and cotton candy...then add a fair amount of pain. I phoned the triage nurse on Monday after a few days of Percocet and anti-nausea meds. After the standard questions...are you eating, drinking, pooping, running a fever? Yes, yes, yes, no. I was told I had two options. Go to the emergency room or set an appointment to see my doctor on Wednesday at the Vancouver Clinic (my doctor rotates between three clinics in addition to her surgical days). I don't think the emergency room would have really done anything for me other than what I am already doing for myself so I opted to fight like a girl and push through until I can see Dr. McC. on Wednesday. I know, a number of you are probably thinking damn girl, you should have gone to the emergency room...but, I also needed to weigh if I wanted to be exposed to all the potential illnesses I could/would come in contact with. Nada.
Sunday, July 24, 2011
July 23, 2011 - The New Doo...Is No Doo
When I woke up this morning looking like a chia pet gone bad I knew it was time. Time to shave my locks. When Patty (my hairdresser) arrived at the house to do the honors she suggested that we not go Kojak (my term, not hers...but she would have said it), but that we bring it down and go from there. She has offered to swing by daily if that's what it takes until I am comfortable with what at have. Or really...what I don't have. When I sent the photo below to my brother Mike he responded by saying "grow a beard and we could be twins." Nice bro (laughing)...love you too! The more I look at the photo the more I think I kinda look like the missing fourth chipmunk from Alvin and the Chipmunks.
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Friday, July 22, 2011
July 22, 2011 - The Sky is Falling
Dear Henny Penny - I can now fully appreciate how you felt when you thought the sky was falling. I began feeling the same way yesterday while sitting in the backyard. But it wasn't my sky that was falling, it was my hair falling out. Fast forward just one day and you will find Mom and I vacuuming my head to control the fall out. Well fuck. I knew it was going to happen, it's just happening so fast. My friend and hairdresser Patty told me from day one...when you are ready to shave your head just call and I'm there. Yesterday I was thinking I would be ready to have it shaved in about a week. Right now I am thinking that I'll be ready tomorrow.
Thursday, July 21, 2011
July 17, 2011 - Streaking Party
So when my niece Sara suggested a streaking party in my honor I thought hmmmmm...really? I guess I should have let her explain first before letting the wheels on my mind move in fast forward. The objective was to gather family and friends who wanted to show their support and have them streak a portion of their hair teal in my honor. Teal being the color of fallopian/ovarian cancer. Of course I immediately said yes. Out went the evites, in came the RSVP's. On Sunday, July 17th Sara hosted 13 family members and friends at Chateau LeFebvre. Acting as the resident colorist with assistance from my sister Sandy, and my sister in law Chris, the results are below.
Gotta love my ladies. A number of whom offered to actually shave their heads. You go girls!
Left to right - Toni, Linda, Chris, Sharon, Jeannie, Nana. Becky, Sandy, Sue, Me, Sara, Michelle and Sherry. Photo by LL Cool J (aka Lorri).
Gotta love my ladies. A number of whom offered to actually shave their heads. You go girls!
Left to right - Toni, Linda, Chris, Sharon, Jeannie, Nana. Becky, Sandy, Sue, Me, Sara, Michelle and Sherry. Photo by LL Cool J (aka Lorri).
July 14, 2011 - Treatment #2
Today's chemo-sabe and transportation partner powered by: Muk (aka Sharon).
With Mom in tow (cause if Momma ain't happy ain't nobody happy) we head off to treatment. I have visions of a successful day on the ride to NWCS. A successful day for me means that they are able to access my port. My nurse of the day get's my IV going and soon we are ready to attempt access to my port. Two other nurses join in and our quest begins. After just a few minutes it appears that the ladies of the day are ready to make an attempt. Ready they ask? One, two, three...with a direct hit we have lift off! Two nurses experienced with ports, one determined patient, and a large needle equals success. Happy, happy girl!
Could my day get any better? It could when the volunteer Reiki (stress reduction and relaxation that promotes healing) Technician popped her head in the door and introduced herself. Having never had Reiki practiced on me, but familiar with what Reiki is I welcomed her. Soon after she began I could feel all of the little hairs on the back of my neck stand up. Mmmmmm, this is nice. She told me I was very open. This is a good thing right? The Technician worked on me for 20 to 30 minutes...ahhhhhhh. She left as quietly as she came and said that she is there every other Thursday. As you might imagine I am looking forward to seeing her again on the 28th. Also on Thursdays, students from a local massage school visit NWCS and offer mini massages. How wonderful that these services are offered to the patients receiving treatment. For me it added to the zen I already had going. My thoughts...the more zen the better.
By now Mom, Sharon and I were famished. We had brought snacks but were beyond the snack phase. We decided to order deli sandwiches from a local deli (Jimmy Johns Gourmet Sandwiches) that a couple of the nurses recommended. And for twenty-five cents a sandwich they deliver by bike. It's crazy what fifty-cents can buy you these days. For the three of us we ordered two Beach Clubs; fresh baked turkey breast, provolone cheese, avocado spread, sliced cucumber, lettuce and tomato. Yumbo! And, we took half a sandwich home. In case you didn't catch on this was my plug for Jimmy Johns.
I have now completed 1/6th of my treatment. Big grin.
With Mom in tow (cause if Momma ain't happy ain't nobody happy) we head off to treatment. I have visions of a successful day on the ride to NWCS. A successful day for me means that they are able to access my port. My nurse of the day get's my IV going and soon we are ready to attempt access to my port. Two other nurses join in and our quest begins. After just a few minutes it appears that the ladies of the day are ready to make an attempt. Ready they ask? One, two, three...with a direct hit we have lift off! Two nurses experienced with ports, one determined patient, and a large needle equals success. Happy, happy girl!
Could my day get any better? It could when the volunteer Reiki (stress reduction and relaxation that promotes healing) Technician popped her head in the door and introduced herself. Having never had Reiki practiced on me, but familiar with what Reiki is I welcomed her. Soon after she began I could feel all of the little hairs on the back of my neck stand up. Mmmmmm, this is nice. She told me I was very open. This is a good thing right? The Technician worked on me for 20 to 30 minutes...ahhhhhhh. She left as quietly as she came and said that she is there every other Thursday. As you might imagine I am looking forward to seeing her again on the 28th. Also on Thursdays, students from a local massage school visit NWCS and offer mini massages. How wonderful that these services are offered to the patients receiving treatment. For me it added to the zen I already had going. My thoughts...the more zen the better.
By now Mom, Sharon and I were famished. We had brought snacks but were beyond the snack phase. We decided to order deli sandwiches from a local deli (Jimmy Johns Gourmet Sandwiches) that a couple of the nurses recommended. And for twenty-five cents a sandwich they deliver by bike. It's crazy what fifty-cents can buy you these days. For the three of us we ordered two Beach Clubs; fresh baked turkey breast, provolone cheese, avocado spread, sliced cucumber, lettuce and tomato. Yumbo! And, we took half a sandwich home. In case you didn't catch on this was my plug for Jimmy Johns.
I have now completed 1/6th of my treatment. Big grin.
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
Family and Friends
I have always known what a rock solid foundation I have in regard to family and friends and how dearly I am loved. Call it what you want...fortunate, loved, blessed, (d) all of the above. However, I am still rocked by the love and support that my posse (family and friends) have shown and continue to show me.
When I was in the hospital I had two nurses comment on how I must have done something right in my life because they just don't see the level of support from family and friends that they were witnessing with me. My immediate thoughts...how sad. This love stuff, which is what it comes down to...needs to be spread around more.
I look at myself as a caregiver, supporter, and nurturer in life. It's what I do. It's what I like. It's what makes me feel good. Recovering from surgery and going through treatment has changed that. I have now become the one being supported, cared for and nurtured. I have quickly accepted that and relinquish. Relinquish to the support of family and friends and let them care for me like I have cared for them.
This relinquish thing...feels damn good.
When I was in the hospital I had two nurses comment on how I must have done something right in my life because they just don't see the level of support from family and friends that they were witnessing with me. My immediate thoughts...how sad. This love stuff, which is what it comes down to...needs to be spread around more.
I look at myself as a caregiver, supporter, and nurturer in life. It's what I do. It's what I like. It's what makes me feel good. Recovering from surgery and going through treatment has changed that. I have now become the one being supported, cared for and nurtured. I have quickly accepted that and relinquish. Relinquish to the support of family and friends and let them care for me like I have cared for them.
This relinquish thing...feels damn good.
Friday, July 15, 2011
July 7, 2011 - Treatment #1
With my sister Sandy, my Mom and snacks and beverages in tow (I was told that treatment #1 would last eight hours so be prepared...food, movies, beverages, cards, etc.) we venture out to Northwest Cancer Specialists for my first treatment. Treatment of course being chemo.
Today's agenda is Taxol via an IV in my hand and Cisplatinum in my port that was surgically placed in the side of my stomach. Since they need access to my port I am not out in the community treatment area but rather in a private room since I have to pull my pants down a bit to gain access (ooh la la). I really think it's just because they already have a good reading of me and don't want me raising havoc (laughing). First up saline solution, benedryl, steroids and Taxol (my personal treatment cocktail, hand mixed two doors down from my private room by the most gorgeous Cuban Pharmacist. OK, I don't know if he's Cuban or not, or even if he's a he but a girl's gotta dream right?). Next we gain access to my port. Or so we hope. Four nurses and two doctor visits (my OBGYN/Oncologist is one floor down) later they decided that the needle they are attempting to use is too short and they are unable to gain access. Damn-a-ramma. To say that I was disappointed is a huge understatement since the treatment to my cavity is the optimum treatment for me. Instead they opt to give me Cisplatnum's cousin Chronoplatium (hmmmm...I think this is the correct name, or, maybe not) in the IV in my hand. Just one small problem. My IV has already clotted and they aren't able to flush it open. So, we start over again. New IV in the right hand this time and since so much time has now lapsed I get all the same fluids I received earlier for the Taxol. All in all things went well. I wasn't having any side effects so we promptly left the building at 5:15pm. Did I mention that we arrived at 8:30am? Ugh!
Today's agenda is Taxol via an IV in my hand and Cisplatinum in my port that was surgically placed in the side of my stomach. Since they need access to my port I am not out in the community treatment area but rather in a private room since I have to pull my pants down a bit to gain access (ooh la la). I really think it's just because they already have a good reading of me and don't want me raising havoc (laughing). First up saline solution, benedryl, steroids and Taxol (my personal treatment cocktail, hand mixed two doors down from my private room by the most gorgeous Cuban Pharmacist. OK, I don't know if he's Cuban or not, or even if he's a he but a girl's gotta dream right?). Next we gain access to my port. Or so we hope. Four nurses and two doctor visits (my OBGYN/Oncologist is one floor down) later they decided that the needle they are attempting to use is too short and they are unable to gain access. Damn-a-ramma. To say that I was disappointed is a huge understatement since the treatment to my cavity is the optimum treatment for me. Instead they opt to give me Cisplatnum's cousin Chronoplatium (hmmmm...I think this is the correct name, or, maybe not) in the IV in my hand. Just one small problem. My IV has already clotted and they aren't able to flush it open. So, we start over again. New IV in the right hand this time and since so much time has now lapsed I get all the same fluids I received earlier for the Taxol. All in all things went well. I wasn't having any side effects so we promptly left the building at 5:15pm. Did I mention that we arrived at 8:30am? Ugh!
Saturday, July 9, 2011
The Beginning
Where shall I start? Let’s start from the beginning since some of you might not be up to date.
April, 2011 – Annual physical (good girl). Cervical polyp noticed during pap. General Physician (GP) refers me to OBGYN for removal. Pap results normal.
April, 2011 – Appointment with OBGYN. Brief intro, requested to undress from the waist down, doctor will return momentarily. Doctor returns, I am on the exam table, feet in stirrups, OBGYN takes a look and says “WOW.” Now, I don’t know about you, but I never wanted to be the “WOW” factor when I was in that particular position. OBGYN tells me that the cervical polyp is huge and that she doesn’t think she can remove it in the office and that I will need to go to the hospital to have it removed. My initial thought…well crap (this was actually the PG version of what I thought). OBGYN removes polyp and informs me that I have a very long cervix (everything else is big so this just makes sense right?). OBGYN voices concern that I am 54, no longer having a menstrual cycle and also not showing symptoms of menopause (Girlfriends are pissed, I’m loving it!). Blood drawn to check hormone levels, cervical polyp sent to pathology to be biopsied. OBGYN recommends that I have an ultra sound, trans-vaginal ultra sound and a hysterosonogram to ensure that there isn’t anything that she is unable to see during a routine exam up my long cervix. Blood work normal, cervical polyp biopsy benign.
May, 2011 – AM prep for imagery exam. Drink as much water as you can hold, then drink some more. First I see the Imagery Technician (IT) who performs the external ultra sound and the trans-vaginal (internal) ultra sound. Naked from the waist down, again in the stirrups and ready for both ultra sounds. External ultra sound completed. The trans-vaginal ultrasound proved to be a bit more challenging since the (IT) placed the probe, which looked like Darth Vader’s light saber between my legs and directly on top of my delicate flower (if you get my drift). I didn’t know if I should laugh or be horrified. When she asked if it was placed correctly I thought good gawd just look…I promise it won’t send you screaming into the streets. Instead I decided to guide her verbally to where she needed to be. Lower, lower, lower…bingo. At the end the (IT) tells me that I have two endometrial polyps. Next the Imagery Doctor (ID) comes in and performs the hysterosonogram. Basically it is the same procedure as the trans-vaginal ultra sound only they place a small catheter in the wall of your uterus and shoot it with dye so they can get a good look. May I add the ID had much better aim than the IT. The ID asks the IT to turn the ultrasound screen towards me. See these little spots, those are endometrial polyps. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine…really? So much for two. ID is unable to get a good view of my left ovary so she sends me for an MRI. Big girl, MRI…not a good combination. The MRI technician attempts to stuff me into the MRI machine like stuffing a sausage into a casing. I told him that it was a really tight fit through the shoulders and that if I was going to have to hold that position for any period of time I didn’t believe that I was going to be able to do that. He assured me that he had larger patients than me and that they fit just fine. Easy for him to say he wasn’t being crammed into it. I finally told him that I wasn’t comfortable moving forward and that I would prefer go and have an open air MRI. Just then the ID came in and asked us if we had completed the MRI. I explain what had happened and she said “well surely there must be something we can do.” Again the MRI Technician said “she’ll fit” but if she isn’t comfortable there isn’t another option. I asked…why can’t you put me in feet first? The ID said “why can’t we put her in feet first?” the MRI Technician just looked at her and said “well, I guess we could.” So in I go feet first, 15 minutes later the MRI is complete. The ID reviews the findings and informs me that my left ovary is enlarged and a solid mass. She also said that if I was post-menopausal she would be more concerned and that I would probably be looking at a D and C and referred me back to my OBGYN for a follow up.
May, 2011 – Follow up with OBGYN. Doctor reviews all results in my presence and says “you need to lose your uterus and your left ovary. Now, I might be 54, but I consider myself to still be fairly sharp and telling me that I need to lose my uterus and left ovary spells HYSTORECTOMY. I must say I was in shock…really; my mind had never gone there. What happened to the D and C? I asked if it was because I had nine endometrial polyps. She said “you mean the 15 endometrial polyps that are visible?” Again, well crap! She then asked me why I would not want to have a hysterectomy…ah ha! See…losing your uterus and left ovary equals hysterectomy. Now realizing I was in shock I replied that if I had working parts, i.e., right ovary, cervix etc. that I wanted to keep them. The left ovary had to come out because it was a solid mass and twice its size. She took biopsies of the endometrial polyps and sent them to pathology. She also wanted to take blood samples to check protein markers. I knew she was checking for cancer although she never used the word. When she phoned to give me the results she said that the endometrial polyps were benign and that the three protein markers that she checked were all in the normal range. Then she said “we have two options moving forward. I could perform a partial hysterectomy however; if any of the results showed anything unfavorable you would be looking at a second surgery. Or, if you want I can refer you to an OBGYN/Oncologist for a second opinion, she can review all of the exam notes, test results, images and biopsies and give you her professional opinion since she deals solely with the reproductive area. Then based on her opinion you can either come back to me or you can opt to have her perform the hysterectomy. For whatever even reason I opted to be referred to the OBGYN/Oncologist.
June, 2011 – Appointment with OBGYN/Oncologist (OO). Physical exam, review of all exams, blood work, biopsies and images. OO recommends a full hysterectomy. She believes that I am in menopause even without symptoms. She also reviews with me in detail why a full hysterectomy would be best. I ask point blank her opinion on if she thinks I am clean. I have never had an abnormal pap, all of my biopsies were benign, my protein markers were all within normal range and we have no cancer on either side of our family. She said that everything looked good, but you never know for certain until you get into surgery and send perform biopsies. Feeling positive, robotic surgery scheduled for Friday, June 17th. Robotic surgery is four small incisions which is much less invasive and reduces the risk for infection.
June 17, 2011 – Surgery performed. Initially they attempted to do the robotic surgery but once she removed my ovary she felt positive the mass was a cancerous tumor. Initial pathology confirmed…malignant. This made is necessary for them to then open me up from my pubic area to above my belly button.
I knew I had cancer when I was in the recovery suite floating in and out of consciousness because I heard them talking about the port they had put in my side for chemo therapy. I was back in my room early Friday evening to the voices of family and friends. By Saturday morning I was up walking, sitting in the chair and had bathed myself. Shocking I know, it even shocked me. My OO came for a visit to give me the results of my surgery. Stage 3 ovarian cancer. The cancer had spread to the fatty flat in my stomach which is apparently conclusive in all women with ovarian cancer. My ovary was so heavy from the tumor it had laid back against my bowels. Luckily she was able to peel it away and my bowel wasn’t compromised. She feels positive that she was able to perform a clean sweep (excellent news). I would be looking at 18 weeks of treatment. I had to ask…cure rate and life expectancy? There is a 25% cure rate. Outside of that the median life expectancy is six years. Some patients live longer, some less. Now for those of you who know me you can bet your ass that I am going to be in that 25% cure rate. I went into this with a positive attitude and I am going to come out on the other end with a positive attitude.
On Sunday morning a partner OBGYM/Oncologist came in to check on me. She said that my recovery was excellent and that if I wanted I could go home. I opted to stay a third night. Before leaving she looked me in the eyes and said…you are so fortunate that you made the decision that you did to have Dr. McC. do your surgery. And in addition to Dr. McC. there was another OBGYN/Oncologist assisting. You had the best looking out for you. Again, you were very fortunate. I must admit it gave my day a very nice jump start.
On Monday morning Dr. McC. came to check on me. She said that I was doing incredible and that she wanted me to go home and she would see me in two weeks.
July, 2011 – Follow up with Dr.McC. the cancer actually started in my fallopian tube and migrated to my ovary. From there it spread to my fatty flap in my stomach. Although it is documented as stage 3 fallopian cancer Dr. McC. said comparatively speaking I had a small amount of cancer compared to other patients. Positive news…we’ll take that. Even though it is fallopian cancer they treat it and ovarian cancer as one in the same. Then we talked treatment. Treatment being chemo therapy. She said that normally she would wait two more weeks to start treatment but that since I am doing so well she asked me how I felt about starting next week. My reply…let’s do it. Treatment starts on Thursday, July 7th and last for 18 weeks. Two weeks on, one week off. Rinse, lather and repeat. On the 7th I visit the lab, see Dr. McC. and have an eight hour treatment session. The first session will last the longest. I will be receiving two drugs, one via IV and one into a port in my side. The next Thursday I have labs and treatment. The following Thursday I just have labs. Then the follow Thursday we start the cycle over again. Dr.McC. said that five years without a reoccurrence would be good, ten years would be great. I told her that I was thinking more like 25 years. She smiled and said that’s even better.
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